we already had Christmas?

So I understand that Christmas has come and gone....I kind of remember eating, cooking, opening gifts, seeing family members opening theirs..oh yea...I do remember opening my Easy feet..foot washer and oh and my Forever Lazy one peice lounge wear.  Thank you family for these fine gifts.  I have already worn my Forever Lazy, and I can't wait to try out my Easy Feet, especailly this Spring when I am barefoot out side and my feet get all stained..that will be perfect!!!

My son was at home for Christmas, he had originally planned on staying in Cullowhee and working.  I am so glad he came home.  He had a surprise for me.  He  already has a couple of tattoos that he designed..he is my artist.  So he and my daughter come in and say.."Mom  Derek has something to show you"  I am scared..what is it  I wonder".  He pulls up his sleeve and bam  a new tattoo. (He knows how I feel about them...it isn't a totally bad thing...I am getting more used to the idea).  My first words were " what did you do"..my thought was..where did you get the money?  I looked more closely and burst out into tears..my son had designed a beautiful bird with a pink ribbon body and tail..it was for  me!  We hugged and cried and I was overcome with feelings of sadness and admiration for what he had done for his Mom.

I feel like I am running out of time this week...I start my first chemo treatment next Thursday.  Is this normal to feel this way..I mean I am not on a countdown for my life..but I mean  I got Christmas stuff to take down, vacuuming and getting this house in order before that day.  I do not like to be cluttered.

All this cancer stuff is always on my mind.. I try to act normal around family and friends, but it is always in the back of my mind.  I can say for sure that I am really scared.  I can't always be brave for everyone else's sake.  I pray daily for my self, and for my family members that will be near me during this time.  I know it will be hard on them as well.  God's timing is always right. We may not think so but it is.  He has prepared me for this struggle and my husband.  I thank God daily for my husband.  Without him I could not do this.  He is amazing....he got me a Ninja Kitchen System for Christmas!!!!  What is he thinking?    Ok  I'm going to go experiment with it.  Have a great day everyone!  Love, Mel