Happy Monday everyone!!! I am doing my usual....got my laptop on my breakfast tray on my bed blogging, trying to have coffee and a little news. Please pray for Glenn, he just left to go to Baptist hospital to have his cataract surgery.He has had such a hard time with his vision..we hope he will be able to have great vision now.
I it another bump in my detour this weekend. As you know my hair has been gradually falling out. It really started last week. Well this weekend..yesterday..I can safely say I have about 15% of my hair left!! I washed and rubbed and rubbed in the shower until I couldn't see anymore coming out.... so I thought that would be a good place to stop. I can't bear to look so I quickly covered my head with with a towel while I got the rest of me ready. I finally got my nerve to unwrap the towel and see the damage. I just saw alot of fuzzy springs and alot of baldness. Well.....ok...so I look like a 100 year old little man or woman. I got a couple of large brown flat moles that aren't very pretty..other than that oh well!! I didn't cry, I didn't freak. It is what it is. But the more I looked at myself..I see a stranger. Who is this face in my mirror? I hardly remember what I looked like before. I did have hair, I was healthy and I was normal. Ok OK.......it's going to be ok. So now I need to figure out a way to get used to seeing me with no hair..do I keep it covered? Do I wear my wig...do I go all natural? Not all natural yet. I can't let Glenn see my like this...yet.
So....I put on my make up as usual...but wait...I have a problem..how far do I go up with my foundation now? Never thought I would have this problem. So I guess I do it the same way as usual I just have more area to cover....I know ya don't put it on your head!!!! Ok..so I do my make up , mascara, put pink dangle earrings in, my white hat and a pink flower stuck on the side. I was ready!!
When time to go to bed came last night..I was in a dilemma...you see. Glenn wears a CPAP to help him sleep so he can breathe. If you don't know how this looks...let me describe. We call it his darthvader mask. Or Octopus on the face...you get the picture. It is not sexy. So every night he waits until I am asleep or we are ready to turn the lights off and quit talking then he will put it on....to spare me!!!
So I got my nerve up last night to show him my head. He just hugged me and said it will grow back. Of course I had to have a little melt down....no better place than in his strong arms.
Of course we had to find some humor in this moment. I told him now we would have to see who could hold out the longest on getting our heads ready at night. Does Darth Vader get his on first and will he get his pulled off first at first light in the morning or will it be Glow worm reaching for my soft fuzzy glow worm hat to put on before the first peeps of sun rays come thru?
Either way..it is true love.
Have a great day...love and hugs...Mel
Monday, January 30, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
a prayer
Dear most Gracious Heavenly Father, I come to you this morning with a happy heart to thank you. As I got out of bed and left my husband sleeping I am thankful for a good night's sleep. I look out the windows and see the beautiful sunshine shining in...which I need so much of. I am thankful for this cup of coffee that I am able to enjoy. My children are well, my family is well. I feel good this morning. I am so thankful for what I have around me this morning. I sit in the quietness of my living room, relishing in the glory that only You can give. My two dogs are always right by my side...They seem to know something is not quiet right and do not go far. My heart is running over with all the good deeds people have shone me during this trial of my life. I am amazed to feel so much love from my earthly brothers and sisters. You my Sweet Lord make it all possible. Thank you for what you do in my life.
Amen.
Amen.
Friday, January 27, 2012
day after
Well I didn't have much to blog about this early in the morning, but then I am laying in bed after being on the computer and checking out FB and my insurance stuff and trying to drink coffee..I just am having a moment. So I thought blogging would help me.
I tried to have a cup of coffee with Glenn but it just is not the same..It makes me feel nauseated. I have tried three times but it just is not going good. As Glenn is my gatekeeper now he left explicit instructions with me this morning.....do not hug anybody...do not let the dogs on the couch with me..even if I pet them wash my hands, do not touch any ones shoes...especially the soles...not even your shoes pull them off at the door. He is such my hero, I don't know what I would do without him. I could not imagine going thru this without him by my side. God really put us together 10 yrs ago..He knew what our lives were going to be like and He did all for us!
So later today I have to go the the Cancer Center and get my $8000 shot. Yes $8000 shot. It is an Immunoglobulin injection that helps to rebuild the white blood cells in my bone marrow..so my counts will not get too low and I can stay more well. So far it has worked.
I am going to try to run to the mall to see if I can find some cute hats. I had rather wear them..I can add a little bling to them, instead of my wig all the time. I need to go the antique museum (mall).. to see if I can find some cheap bling...brooches and pins and such to add to my hats.
May need to nap first. My besties are coming over for a little while tonight. Pull your shoes off at the door and use hand sanitizer and do not hug me!!!! Yes Glenn I know you will be giving instructions. He love me!!!
Psalm 40:5
Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare
TGIF everyone. Love Mel
I tried to have a cup of coffee with Glenn but it just is not the same..It makes me feel nauseated. I have tried three times but it just is not going good. As Glenn is my gatekeeper now he left explicit instructions with me this morning.....do not hug anybody...do not let the dogs on the couch with me..even if I pet them wash my hands, do not touch any ones shoes...especially the soles...not even your shoes pull them off at the door. He is such my hero, I don't know what I would do without him. I could not imagine going thru this without him by my side. God really put us together 10 yrs ago..He knew what our lives were going to be like and He did all for us!
So later today I have to go the the Cancer Center and get my $8000 shot. Yes $8000 shot. It is an Immunoglobulin injection that helps to rebuild the white blood cells in my bone marrow..so my counts will not get too low and I can stay more well. So far it has worked.
I am going to try to run to the mall to see if I can find some cute hats. I had rather wear them..I can add a little bling to them, instead of my wig all the time. I need to go the antique museum (mall).. to see if I can find some cheap bling...brooches and pins and such to add to my hats.
May need to nap first. My besties are coming over for a little while tonight. Pull your shoes off at the door and use hand sanitizer and do not hug me!!!! Yes Glenn I know you will be giving instructions. He love me!!!
Psalm 40:5
Many, LORD my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare
TGIF everyone. Love Mel
Thursday, January 26, 2012
a typical treatment day
Well..I got over my hissy fit from yesterday. I am now sitting in the recliner at the Cancer Center. I got my blood work done. I saw the PA and she said everything looked good. My counts had never gotten bad so far from the first treatment. Let me just tell you how this all works..shall I?
I go the Cancer Center..I check in..I sit in the waiting room and I look around to see who is also waiting. Is there anyone here I know?
I see lots of people with scarves, caps, no hair..and just normal looking people. I wonder what their stories are. We all speak or nod but we don't carry on much of a conversation. I get called back to lab and have some blood drawn. I then go back to see the doctor or there PA. she checks me out and says I seem fine. Next stop is the treatment hall. Here is where all the poisoning is happening. It is a long large room. Six blue recliners are strategically placed with a small chair for a friend. We have TV's placed to watch what ever we would like. (as long as the person beside you agrees). The last time we were here we had our own private room. I like that best. Today is a full house. There are 4-5 nurses working very hard. As each of us come in...we pick a chair..one the nurses is assigned to you. She makes you comfortable, offers a blanket. She gets her tray of goodies. IV supplies and so forth... She finds my port and hooks me up. IV of just saline and steroids go first for about an hour. During this time..I am watching Rachel , eating my poptarts, Glenn is beside me reading. Little volunteer ladies come thru with their little cart of sundries..."yes I will take a Margarita on the rocks please". Oh I am sorry I thought that would be offered...oh well...I will have lemonade instead.
My nurse brings out my cocktail of the day... the BAG. Two 30 cc syringes of Red Devil. One bag of Cytoxin. She asks my name and birth date to be sure she has the right cocktails for the right patient. Yes that's me!! We were just asked if we would be here for lunch. It's 11:00 and I haven't started on the cocktails yet so yes, we will need lunch. One lady brings us menus. Oh know what a big decision..it is a real menu to choose from. I choose chicken pie, mac and cheese, broccoli and corn bread. yum yum...I just hope I am not feeling queasy when it comes time to eat.
I look around and I see patients that have already come and gone. I know Glenn is bored. He is just playing on his Droid..or reading. He says he is fine. One our best friend stops by to hang out and see how I'm doing...I love Greg.(and Kim).
This one older man comes in and turns the TV on this symphony picture channel...it is loud...it sounds like a funeral home!!! It is depressing.. We could use some KC and Sunshine Band!!!What...turn that off...some of us here maybe closer to the funeral home door and don't need any reminders!!! He left and we turned it..Everyone was like "thank you"
So the Red Devil is pushed in. That went ok. Then the Cytoxin which causes me to have a burning headache...last time was kinda bad. I have been dreading this one. It did start burning, the nurse ran it in slower than usual. It was very tolerable. Finally around 1:00 we were all finished and outta there!!!
I came home and took a nap for a couple hours...I am feeling pretty good. Just a little weird headache...just a little weird feeling...I can't explain it....I'm just weird!!!
So this was my usual therapy day. I am so glad Glenn can go with me. He is my hero!
Love to all....Mel
I go the Cancer Center..I check in..I sit in the waiting room and I look around to see who is also waiting. Is there anyone here I know?
I see lots of people with scarves, caps, no hair..and just normal looking people. I wonder what their stories are. We all speak or nod but we don't carry on much of a conversation. I get called back to lab and have some blood drawn. I then go back to see the doctor or there PA. she checks me out and says I seem fine. Next stop is the treatment hall. Here is where all the poisoning is happening. It is a long large room. Six blue recliners are strategically placed with a small chair for a friend. We have TV's placed to watch what ever we would like. (as long as the person beside you agrees). The last time we were here we had our own private room. I like that best. Today is a full house. There are 4-5 nurses working very hard. As each of us come in...we pick a chair..one the nurses is assigned to you. She makes you comfortable, offers a blanket. She gets her tray of goodies. IV supplies and so forth... She finds my port and hooks me up. IV of just saline and steroids go first for about an hour. During this time..I am watching Rachel , eating my poptarts, Glenn is beside me reading. Little volunteer ladies come thru with their little cart of sundries..."yes I will take a Margarita on the rocks please". Oh I am sorry I thought that would be offered...oh well...I will have lemonade instead.
My nurse brings out my cocktail of the day... the BAG. Two 30 cc syringes of Red Devil. One bag of Cytoxin. She asks my name and birth date to be sure she has the right cocktails for the right patient. Yes that's me!! We were just asked if we would be here for lunch. It's 11:00 and I haven't started on the cocktails yet so yes, we will need lunch. One lady brings us menus. Oh know what a big decision..it is a real menu to choose from. I choose chicken pie, mac and cheese, broccoli and corn bread. yum yum...I just hope I am not feeling queasy when it comes time to eat.I look around and I see patients that have already come and gone. I know Glenn is bored. He is just playing on his Droid..or reading. He says he is fine. One our best friend stops by to hang out and see how I'm doing...I love Greg.(and Kim).
This one older man comes in and turns the TV on this symphony picture channel...it is loud...it sounds like a funeral home!!! It is depressing.. We could use some KC and Sunshine Band!!!What...turn that off...some of us here maybe closer to the funeral home door and don't need any reminders!!! He left and we turned it..Everyone was like "thank you"
So the Red Devil is pushed in. That went ok. Then the Cytoxin which causes me to have a burning headache...last time was kinda bad. I have been dreading this one. It did start burning, the nurse ran it in slower than usual. It was very tolerable. Finally around 1:00 we were all finished and outta there!!!I came home and took a nap for a couple hours...I am feeling pretty good. Just a little weird headache...just a little weird feeling...I can't explain it....I'm just weird!!!
So this was my usual therapy day. I am so glad Glenn can go with me. He is my hero!
Love to all....Mel
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
chuck..reality
I know I already posted one time today, when it was early and it was going to be a good day. Well things have changed in the past hour and I feel I need to vent this out. I appreciate everyone who is sharing this journey with me and reading my blog. You have inspired me by your words of encouragement.
I have tried to be positive most all the time, but today I am not. I started this blogging to share with others and to help myself. I knew it was not always going to be easy or fun or good things to blog about. So, if you get grossed out about things, or can't stand hearing about what it is really like to have chuck (cancer) then I do not blame you if can't read it all the time. Truth is I am doing this for me. Don't be sad for me....I am pissed!!!
I had planned on going into work for a few hours this afternoon. I feel great!!! I took Abbey for a walk...came in and took a shower. I washed my short little nubby head... then I looked down and hair was all over my arms! I freaked! I knew what it was. I started scrubbing my head as hard as I could I wanted it gone...NOW! I could feel all the sensitive places..remember how earlier I said it felt like you had a head sunburn? I knew those were the places it was coming from. I rubbed and rinsed , rubbed and rinsed..it still came. It was on my face and in my mouth. What do I do? Do I keep rubbing or do I stop? I don't know! I never had to do this before. I started bawling like a baby. I thought I would be ready for this moment. Guess not. So I rinsed all me off best I could. I grabbed a towel and wrapped around my head. I could not look. I dried off..some hair was stuck on me in places. So what do I do/ Somebody tell me. I cried some more then got mad!
How dare this horrible disease. Look what you are doing to me. I don't even want to acknowledge it by even mentioning it. It has stopped my life as I once knew it. It has stopped my family's life as they once knew it. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate covering up my head. Hats and the wig sometimes make my head sore. I don't want to be bald. I am ugly. I want to get up and go to work like I used to. I want be able to go out for a walk and not cover my head. I want to help my daughter enjoy planning her wedding. I want to go see my son..but I don't know what weekend I will feel good. I want to with visit my parents without seeing the look of sadness in their eyes. I want to love my husband the way he deserves..but I feel unlovable.
Ok I am really having a pity party right now. I know that's alright to do because I can really feel how ever I want to. I haven't forgotten God is in control. He expects us to be mad once in a while. He himself was at times. Just not mad at Him.
So I will try to have a more positive spirit..later...maybe...this is only the beginning. You know how when you give your dog a bath in the bathtub because it is to cold outside.. then you look in the drain you have all this short hair everywhere....that's me.
I just keep telling myself...this is just one of those big bumps in the darn road detour!
Thanks for listening. Mel
I have tried to be positive most all the time, but today I am not. I started this blogging to share with others and to help myself. I knew it was not always going to be easy or fun or good things to blog about. So, if you get grossed out about things, or can't stand hearing about what it is really like to have chuck (cancer) then I do not blame you if can't read it all the time. Truth is I am doing this for me. Don't be sad for me....I am pissed!!!
I had planned on going into work for a few hours this afternoon. I feel great!!! I took Abbey for a walk...came in and took a shower. I washed my short little nubby head... then I looked down and hair was all over my arms! I freaked! I knew what it was. I started scrubbing my head as hard as I could I wanted it gone...NOW! I could feel all the sensitive places..remember how earlier I said it felt like you had a head sunburn? I knew those were the places it was coming from. I rubbed and rinsed , rubbed and rinsed..it still came. It was on my face and in my mouth. What do I do? Do I keep rubbing or do I stop? I don't know! I never had to do this before. I started bawling like a baby. I thought I would be ready for this moment. Guess not. So I rinsed all me off best I could. I grabbed a towel and wrapped around my head. I could not look. I dried off..some hair was stuck on me in places. So what do I do/ Somebody tell me. I cried some more then got mad!
How dare this horrible disease. Look what you are doing to me. I don't even want to acknowledge it by even mentioning it. It has stopped my life as I once knew it. It has stopped my family's life as they once knew it. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate covering up my head. Hats and the wig sometimes make my head sore. I don't want to be bald. I am ugly. I want to get up and go to work like I used to. I want be able to go out for a walk and not cover my head. I want to help my daughter enjoy planning her wedding. I want to go see my son..but I don't know what weekend I will feel good. I want to with visit my parents without seeing the look of sadness in their eyes. I want to love my husband the way he deserves..but I feel unlovable.
Ok I am really having a pity party right now. I know that's alright to do because I can really feel how ever I want to. I haven't forgotten God is in control. He expects us to be mad once in a while. He himself was at times. Just not mad at Him.
So I will try to have a more positive spirit..later...maybe...this is only the beginning. You know how when you give your dog a bath in the bathtub because it is to cold outside.. then you look in the drain you have all this short hair everywhere....that's me.
I just keep telling myself...this is just one of those big bumps in the darn road detour!
Thanks for listening. Mel
chemo eve
Good morning friends. Not much happening today. Tomorrow is my second poison day. I guess today I am trying to get things done, some cooking, some cleaning, in case I am not up to par later. I mean I am not the only person who could take care of this. I guess it is just one of those instincts to get it done yourself.
I have hit a another dramatic turning point this week. I have noticed that my head had gotten so tender in some places..kinda like when that part in your hair gets sunburned....you know...well that is what I have been feeling in spots. Well guess what? I have little bits of my short springs of hair falling out!! I knew it was coming..ta da!! You see dear sister Sharon it did happen.
So far I am not freaking out, I am just freaking out about having hair on things. I do not like hair on things...but your head. So I am keeping one of my little caps on so it will stay contained. I will almost be glad when it is all out...then I can really look like a cancer patient instead of a woman who likes really short hair, that is not very becoming. Glenn actually told me the other day..,I had a very fashionable scarf on,...he said I looked like a cancer patient with that on. Well dah!!! I know he meant well. We will see how I really feel about this when it is all gone.
OK..I am trying to muster up the will power to vacuum...then I promised our dog Abbey I would take her for walk.. she is patiently waiting...she understands..she is part human.
Then I am going into work for a few hours this afternoon to answer crazy patients calls (don't get me wrong they are not all crazy, just about 90%).
God made a beautiful day today..I got to enjoy it and I will.
Loves and hugs..Mel
I have hit a another dramatic turning point this week. I have noticed that my head had gotten so tender in some places..kinda like when that part in your hair gets sunburned....you know...well that is what I have been feeling in spots. Well guess what? I have little bits of my short springs of hair falling out!! I knew it was coming..ta da!! You see dear sister Sharon it did happen.
So far I am not freaking out, I am just freaking out about having hair on things. I do not like hair on things...but your head. So I am keeping one of my little caps on so it will stay contained. I will almost be glad when it is all out...then I can really look like a cancer patient instead of a woman who likes really short hair, that is not very becoming. Glenn actually told me the other day..,I had a very fashionable scarf on,...he said I looked like a cancer patient with that on. Well dah!!! I know he meant well. We will see how I really feel about this when it is all gone.
OK..I am trying to muster up the will power to vacuum...then I promised our dog Abbey I would take her for walk.. she is patiently waiting...she understands..she is part human.
Then I am going into work for a few hours this afternoon to answer crazy patients calls (don't get me wrong they are not all crazy, just about 90%).
God made a beautiful day today..I got to enjoy it and I will.
Loves and hugs..Mel
Monday, January 23, 2012
Normal is over rated
Happy Monday!!! When is the sun going to come back out! I don't do well in dreary weather. It makes me lazy..guess that's why I am still in bed, blogging, drinking coffee, watching FNC and yes...I do have my glow worm hat on.;) I gotta figure out how to put pictures on here..then we all can share glow worm comments. If anyone knows how to do this please help me! I have amazed myself at just figuring out how to blog with just words!!!! This is why I don't own one of those high tech gadgets like a Droid or what ever else is out there.. I have an old phone. I just need to dial, talk, receive and yes..I do like to text.
The past few days have been great. I feel normal. I almost forgot how to feel normal..I have been waiting to feel abnormal or just waiting for something to let me know that I am sick. I know I am sick...I have a disease..I call it chuck...I don't even want to give it any kind of recognition by calling it by its name.
This whole thing is weird. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. I went to work last week. I worked 3 half days and felt really good. I was tired because I didn't get my naps in. I haven't figured out how I am supposed to feel yet. I know I keep saying this and my readers have no idea what I mean. I can't explain it. I think it is like...on the outside I am still me..but on the inside I am not sure how I am supposed to be. I forget I am sick when I feel good. I don't think about it,,,things seem normal. Then I will go to the mirror and I see my buzzed head or my wig or my glow worm head..and I remember...oh yea....I do not have a normal life and I never will.
So I make my life now..normal. I think this is what I mean...I have a different normal life now. It's not so bad. So far.
God has answered so many prayers for me...Derek got a good partime job last week, Katie and I found a wonderful lady to help with a major wedding detail.
I feel calmness inside. I know why.
Have a wonderful day. Love to all. Mel
7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus
The past few days have been great. I feel normal. I almost forgot how to feel normal..I have been waiting to feel abnormal or just waiting for something to let me know that I am sick. I know I am sick...I have a disease..I call it chuck...I don't even want to give it any kind of recognition by calling it by its name.
This whole thing is weird. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. I went to work last week. I worked 3 half days and felt really good. I was tired because I didn't get my naps in. I haven't figured out how I am supposed to feel yet. I know I keep saying this and my readers have no idea what I mean. I can't explain it. I think it is like...on the outside I am still me..but on the inside I am not sure how I am supposed to be. I forget I am sick when I feel good. I don't think about it,,,things seem normal. Then I will go to the mirror and I see my buzzed head or my wig or my glow worm head..and I remember...oh yea....I do not have a normal life and I never will.
So I make my life now..normal. I think this is what I mean...I have a different normal life now. It's not so bad. So far.
God has answered so many prayers for me...Derek got a good partime job last week, Katie and I found a wonderful lady to help with a major wedding detail.
I feel calmness inside. I know why.
Have a wonderful day. Love to all. Mel
Philippians 4:7
King James Version (KJV)
7And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus
Thursday, January 19, 2012
I'v been lifted
Well..since I have found that my worst days from this treatment are over....I decided I feel good enough to try to go to my job and work a little! I must say I was a little hesitant...I have been out for a bout five weeks and really didn't have any plans to go back for at least 3-6 months. I had given up my clinical manager's job last summer and changed to being a nurse for our new doctor.....what a welcome change.
She went out on maternity leave in Dec. the same time I went out. I can't go back and work in the clinical setting with her now. I really miss this. But I can be one of the triage nurses ( we call them the phone nurses). Actually this can be a pretty fun job. We get to answer all the patient calls from refilling their medications to my baby passed gas today and it smelled funny.....(ya think) to anything you can imagine in between.
I had missed being there and seeing my co workers. It was nice to be back for a little while.
I am going to get my sweats on and actually take our dog Abby for a little walk. She is so pitiful. We used to walk almost everyday, no matter what the temperature was outside. So now that I am not so bad off..we are going out. I am sure I can't walk as fast or as long as I used too, but hey, at least I am out there. I guess I can't do kettle bells...ever. I got to find something else to to start building these scrawny muscles; wait I do have several hand weights of different pounds to use....ok..no excuses!
Ok enough Samantha Brown....gotta go. Have a great day all.
Hugs and loves..Mel
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. Psalms 40:1-2
She went out on maternity leave in Dec. the same time I went out. I can't go back and work in the clinical setting with her now. I really miss this. But I can be one of the triage nurses ( we call them the phone nurses). Actually this can be a pretty fun job. We get to answer all the patient calls from refilling their medications to my baby passed gas today and it smelled funny.....(ya think) to anything you can imagine in between.
I had missed being there and seeing my co workers. It was nice to be back for a little while.
I am going to get my sweats on and actually take our dog Abby for a little walk. She is so pitiful. We used to walk almost everyday, no matter what the temperature was outside. So now that I am not so bad off..we are going out. I am sure I can't walk as fast or as long as I used too, but hey, at least I am out there. I guess I can't do kettle bells...ever. I got to find something else to to start building these scrawny muscles; wait I do have several hand weights of different pounds to use....ok..no excuses!
Ok enough Samantha Brown....gotta go. Have a great day all.
Hugs and loves..Mel
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. Psalms 40:1-2
Monday, January 16, 2012
no more pity parties...now
Well...let me just say this....I have no excuse not to take my dog for a walk. I am ashamed of myself. I have been sitting around in lounge clothes for the past two weeks waiting to feel really bad, sick, pain..anything. OK..don't get me wrong..I have had a share of nausea, just needing to take a few daily naps, a few killer headaches, but nothing more.
Glenn and I have been preparing oursleves when the day comes that I can hardly pick my head off the pillow, I can't reach a skillet to cook from, I can't unload one dish from the dishwasher..etc How he will be my hero and step in and take care of my every whim. (or whin).
Well news flash!!! my oncologist(cancer doctor) told me today to forget it sista...if it ain't happend by now, it ain't going to!! What!!! you mean...all this worry for nothing? I'm not going to be pitiful? and needy and have people make over me...and say oh poor thing..she looks so pitiful?
Thank You my Dear Heavely Father!!! You have again answered my prayers. My prayer mainly for my family, that they would will not have to see me sick and weak, that my husband would not have to wait on me and hear me whinny (well some).
Today, my doctor..Dr M. told me that the first few days and first week after chemo, would be my worst. Then each day would get better until the next treatment. I guess I didn't hear this when I first started. WOW were we so surprised today to hear this. I was a little nauseated tired and just grumpy that first weak...I feel awesome today!!!
She asked me about mouth sores because right now would be when I would start getting them if I got them. This was one of the main side effects I had been dreading..forget going bald...I didn't want to have to miss a meal!! I have just some very light tenderness in my gums and alitte on my tongue. Other than that no big deal!
So Glenn did have to be with me today and hear all this...even the part about I need to start walking and exercising a littte again, that I can do for myself and not be all pitiful like I was this morning when I could barely get the words out.."Glennie Poo...can you pleeze fix me an egg sandwich? I just feel tired".
So, I am certainly not healed, I have 15 more chemo treatments to go before that part is over, next month may be totally different. I will take my good news and my hats and my wig and wear them in style and yes even walk...and do more housework. I am more than excited too. I have much to be thankful for today.
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Loves and hugs..Mel
Glenn and I have been preparing oursleves when the day comes that I can hardly pick my head off the pillow, I can't reach a skillet to cook from, I can't unload one dish from the dishwasher..etc How he will be my hero and step in and take care of my every whim. (or whin).
Well news flash!!! my oncologist(cancer doctor) told me today to forget it sista...if it ain't happend by now, it ain't going to!! What!!! you mean...all this worry for nothing? I'm not going to be pitiful? and needy and have people make over me...and say oh poor thing..she looks so pitiful?
Thank You my Dear Heavely Father!!! You have again answered my prayers. My prayer mainly for my family, that they would will not have to see me sick and weak, that my husband would not have to wait on me and hear me whinny (well some).
Today, my doctor..Dr M. told me that the first few days and first week after chemo, would be my worst. Then each day would get better until the next treatment. I guess I didn't hear this when I first started. WOW were we so surprised today to hear this. I was a little nauseated tired and just grumpy that first weak...I feel awesome today!!!
She asked me about mouth sores because right now would be when I would start getting them if I got them. This was one of the main side effects I had been dreading..forget going bald...I didn't want to have to miss a meal!! I have just some very light tenderness in my gums and alitte on my tongue. Other than that no big deal!
So Glenn did have to be with me today and hear all this...even the part about I need to start walking and exercising a littte again, that I can do for myself and not be all pitiful like I was this morning when I could barely get the words out.."Glennie Poo...can you pleeze fix me an egg sandwich? I just feel tired".
So, I am certainly not healed, I have 15 more chemo treatments to go before that part is over, next month may be totally different. I will take my good news and my hats and my wig and wear them in style and yes even walk...and do more housework. I am more than excited too. I have much to be thankful for today.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
New International Version (NIV)
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Loves and hugs..Mel
Sunday, January 15, 2012
What a Wonderful World
What an awesome weekend. Katie had planned for several weeks, a girls weekend at the beach to try her wedding dress on since it had been started and shipped to the store. Some bridesmaids, my bestie and myself had a great girls weekend. I had been worried since, planning that I would be sick or not feeling well, but guess what? I felt the best ever! I think my Heavenly Father had alot to do with that!
I did not want to disappoint Katie and have to be drug around and be whiney. Five of of went and we really enjoyed being together. We went to the Little White Dress Shop where THE wedding dress had arrived from the designers shop, being special made for the special bride to be. Katie was beautiful. She with her little blusher and her purple shoes. Yes. She will be wearing purple heels! My daughter does not go with the crowd...thank goodness!!!
We shopped a bit for me a dress...I got plenty of time. We went out to a fantastic Italian place to eat. I mean we ate!!!! Sometimes it's just good to enjoy family, close friends...no guys! They need time away from us too.
So I sit here tonight, counting my blessings from the weekend. A room over looking the beautiful ocean, wonderful daughter...wonderful friends, wonderful husband to come back home to. Wonderful life!!!!
Oh yea..I almost forgot to mention,. Derek got a job...a real job!!!! He will be hitting the EASY button at Staples in Waynesville! Yes...another answered prayer.
I am also wondering right now when am I going to start feeling bad? Aren't I supposed too? I am sick. I know it is coming. So right now I will count my blessings, my every second of feeling good and I will continue to know God has my hand.
He has blessed me with so very much. I am a blessed child!
All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
Deuteronomy 28:1-3
I did not want to disappoint Katie and have to be drug around and be whiney. Five of of went and we really enjoyed being together. We went to the Little White Dress Shop where THE wedding dress had arrived from the designers shop, being special made for the special bride to be. Katie was beautiful. She with her little blusher and her purple shoes. Yes. She will be wearing purple heels! My daughter does not go with the crowd...thank goodness!!!
We shopped a bit for me a dress...I got plenty of time. We went out to a fantastic Italian place to eat. I mean we ate!!!! Sometimes it's just good to enjoy family, close friends...no guys! They need time away from us too.
So I sit here tonight, counting my blessings from the weekend. A room over looking the beautiful ocean, wonderful daughter...wonderful friends, wonderful husband to come back home to. Wonderful life!!!!
Oh yea..I almost forgot to mention,. Derek got a job...a real job!!!! He will be hitting the EASY button at Staples in Waynesville! Yes...another answered prayer.
I am also wondering right now when am I going to start feeling bad? Aren't I supposed too? I am sick. I know it is coming. So right now I will count my blessings, my every second of feeling good and I will continue to know God has my hand.
He has blessed me with so very much. I am a blessed child!
All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
Deuteronomy 28:1-3
Friday, January 13, 2012
Peaceful easy feeling
Short entry today. I don't want any of my followers to get bored. Glenn is going to have cataract surgery in a couple weeks. Poor thing he cannot see out of that bad eye. It has really affected him physically and mentally. So he is going today for a consult. Please keep him in your prayers too please.
As I was sitting on the couch beside him last night, I had my glow worm hat on...he said "you look so less stressed..more than I have ever seen you". He said my age lines (what age lines) were diminished and I just looked calm. I said.."ya know..I do not feel one bit stress or worry." How can I not,... I am thinking,...I have cancer.
I said...I feel peace, I honestly do not feel any stress over this at all. Of course I still have the regular every day worries of being Mom and wife. Is Derek eating, is he sleeping, does he need me. And Katie...is she ok at home, is she stressed at work...is she eating? Ya know just usual stuff.
I am not worried about cancer (oops Chuck) (BBC for you Kerry). I do not think about my hair, I don't think about money.. now that we are one income. I feel calm. I feel loved and comforted. I see so many caring friends around me, I am not alone. I feel self worth. I feel special. I am learning to let go of the negative that one can accumulate. I am finding that some so called friends are really not. I want to say I am not the cancer..I am still me, so you don't have to ignore me! I know it is hard for people, me included, just don't know what to say. So they ignore you and maybe it will go away!!!
That's Ok I got plenty others who are not afraid. Thank you.
So this is my lesson for today. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-8 (in Context) 1 Peter 5
Loves and Hugs..Mel
As I was sitting on the couch beside him last night, I had my glow worm hat on...he said "you look so less stressed..more than I have ever seen you". He said my age lines (what age lines) were diminished and I just looked calm. I said.."ya know..I do not feel one bit stress or worry." How can I not,... I am thinking,...I have cancer.
I said...I feel peace, I honestly do not feel any stress over this at all. Of course I still have the regular every day worries of being Mom and wife. Is Derek eating, is he sleeping, does he need me. And Katie...is she ok at home, is she stressed at work...is she eating? Ya know just usual stuff.
I am not worried about cancer (oops Chuck) (BBC for you Kerry). I do not think about my hair, I don't think about money.. now that we are one income. I feel calm. I feel loved and comforted. I see so many caring friends around me, I am not alone. I feel self worth. I feel special. I am learning to let go of the negative that one can accumulate. I am finding that some so called friends are really not. I want to say I am not the cancer..I am still me, so you don't have to ignore me! I know it is hard for people, me included, just don't know what to say. So they ignore you and maybe it will go away!!!
That's Ok I got plenty others who are not afraid. Thank you.
So this is my lesson for today. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-8 (in Context) 1 Peter 5
Loves and Hugs..Mel
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Glow worm
I remember my son Derek's hai,r when he was small and we kept his hair really short, buzzed cut sometime. I remember the feel of his little head as I ran my hand over his short hair, as I thought his little head is so sweet! Haha!! Now that is what I am saying about my own head!!
Sharon and I went to the boutique yesterday to get my hair shaved and get my new hair ready. I was really nervous. We both went back to a little room with a barber chair, mirror the whole salon look. As Tina, she is the wonderful lady that helped me, put the cape around me I was facing the big mirror. She said " do you want to face away from the mirror?" I felt anxiety and I needed tissues. So I had a moment of anxiety, with Sharon...then it was time to get over it! I could not of gotten thru this without my sis there with me. I thank God for her.
She got the scissors out first and just started cutting. I almost wanted to do this part...I often wanted to just get scissors and wack my hair off when having bad hair days. I held back. As I watch semi- long pieces fall to the floor I realized this was it. Do you know this is the longest my has been in years? I started letting it grow some this winter for a new look...oh well..just wasn't meant to be at all.
I had been anticipating this whole thing as trauma. Tina assured me it would not be. I imagined I would be sitting in the chair, the electric buzzer fires up...I am thinking this is going to be like GI Jane..as Demi sits there and streak by streak of hair is buzzed off down to her scalp and that is what you see is bald.
To my surprise this did not happen! I only got a buzz cut...kinda like a GI. I am not bald she left a bout1/4 inch all over. This is done this way so the hair follicles will not be disrupted when new growth starts back, no nicks or cuts and it is not so drastic! I had no idea. I am learning alot about my head.
Now it was time to put my new hair on and get it trimmed just like I wanted it. We worked and trimmed until it was just right! Of course I had to have some head accessories. There are all kinds of scarves, hats, wraps, caps. This was fun. I never knew my head was going to have so many extra necessories!!
My first outing with my new hair was stopping at the mall for a minute .Everytime I went by a mirror I glanced at myself. I kinda look like a stranger...my new hair style is a little different. It's darker but I love it. I have never been one to have boring hair!! Then I met Katie and Glenn at San Felipe for a celebration dinner. They were in waiting on me...I walked up and saw their faces and knew that this was going to be ok. (oh yea one more perk is my new hair doesn't get all messed up in the rain. It dries right back the way it was!) Beat that!!!
So one little cap I got is a sleep cap. It is just a little white soft cap to keep my head warm if needed at night or just wear around the house styling. I didn't wear it last night, but put it on first thing this morning before Glenn saw me. He laughed and said.."can I make a joke right now?" I said of course. He said "do you know what that little cap reminds me of?" (oh dear). He said, "you remember those little toys called Glow worms? They used to have little caps on them too!" I cracked up. So now I can be a glow worm too!!!!
Better get up and get started...oh yea..I have more time..I don't have to fix my hair!!! My brother Allen is coming over today to hang out. He is recovering from hip replacement surgery. We are going to eat potato soup and watch some Raylan and the boys. If you don't know who that is then you don't know Harlan co.!!
Loves and hugs ..Mel
Sharon and I went to the boutique yesterday to get my hair shaved and get my new hair ready. I was really nervous. We both went back to a little room with a barber chair, mirror the whole salon look. As Tina, she is the wonderful lady that helped me, put the cape around me I was facing the big mirror. She said " do you want to face away from the mirror?" I felt anxiety and I needed tissues. So I had a moment of anxiety, with Sharon...then it was time to get over it! I could not of gotten thru this without my sis there with me. I thank God for her.
She got the scissors out first and just started cutting. I almost wanted to do this part...I often wanted to just get scissors and wack my hair off when having bad hair days. I held back. As I watch semi- long pieces fall to the floor I realized this was it. Do you know this is the longest my has been in years? I started letting it grow some this winter for a new look...oh well..just wasn't meant to be at all.
I had been anticipating this whole thing as trauma. Tina assured me it would not be. I imagined I would be sitting in the chair, the electric buzzer fires up...I am thinking this is going to be like GI Jane..as Demi sits there and streak by streak of hair is buzzed off down to her scalp and that is what you see is bald.
To my surprise this did not happen! I only got a buzz cut...kinda like a GI. I am not bald she left a bout1/4 inch all over. This is done this way so the hair follicles will not be disrupted when new growth starts back, no nicks or cuts and it is not so drastic! I had no idea. I am learning alot about my head.
Now it was time to put my new hair on and get it trimmed just like I wanted it. We worked and trimmed until it was just right! Of course I had to have some head accessories. There are all kinds of scarves, hats, wraps, caps. This was fun. I never knew my head was going to have so many extra necessories!!
My first outing with my new hair was stopping at the mall for a minute .Everytime I went by a mirror I glanced at myself. I kinda look like a stranger...my new hair style is a little different. It's darker but I love it. I have never been one to have boring hair!! Then I met Katie and Glenn at San Felipe for a celebration dinner. They were in waiting on me...I walked up and saw their faces and knew that this was going to be ok. (oh yea one more perk is my new hair doesn't get all messed up in the rain. It dries right back the way it was!) Beat that!!!
So one little cap I got is a sleep cap. It is just a little white soft cap to keep my head warm if needed at night or just wear around the house styling. I didn't wear it last night, but put it on first thing this morning before Glenn saw me. He laughed and said.."can I make a joke right now?" I said of course. He said "do you know what that little cap reminds me of?" (oh dear). He said, "you remember those little toys called Glow worms? They used to have little caps on them too!" I cracked up. So now I can be a glow worm too!!!!
Better get up and get started...oh yea..I have more time..I don't have to fix my hair!!! My brother Allen is coming over today to hang out. He is recovering from hip replacement surgery. We are going to eat potato soup and watch some Raylan and the boys. If you don't know who that is then you don't know Harlan co.!!
Loves and hugs ..Mel
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Hair today..gone tomorrow
I feel like I am behind in blogging...I have so much to spill out all of a sudden! I should of done some blogging yesterday, but I guess nothing was really going on until I went to the mail box about 3 pm and there were all these cards for me! OK that will have to be another day. I must concentrate on the day at hand now.
If anyone knows me at all, you know I am a freak about my hair. My hair..let's just talk about it for a moment..shall we? I have thin fine hair. It has body but never at the right time...I have never had a "style" because it always does something different everyday..It really does have a mind of it's own. So I have hair products for every purpose one can imagine!
You know ladies how we are about our hair...well me anyways...if we are or think we are having a bad hair day..it makes our whole day bad! Am I right? Well today is the LAST BAD hair day for me...for at least 6 months!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!! FREEDOM!!!!!
OK....so I am going thru my bathroom drug store...I see Root lifter. Root Lifter???? That is funny. Three cans of Freeze It Hair Spray, Got to be Glued, Volumizing spray, Surfer Paste. This will all be available to anyone who would like a memento of my hair days!
So today is the day...it seems this day was not supposed to get here this fast. When my nurse told me that I will lose my hair in exactly 7-10 days from my first chemo treatment..I knew I had to act pretty fast. I did..I (oops..I don't know how I got the
font changed..I don't have time to try to figure it out).
I decided that I was not going to sit around...waiting to see hair strands on my pillow or on the couch or eeewwwhhh in my plate!!! I decided that I would be in control of what I want happening. I am not in control of a lot right now, but my hair..oh yes..I am doing it my way. I am getting a buzz cut and leaving with my new look! I was going to go by myself to day...do something on my own, face my fears head on,(haha) be brave on my own, (probably get lost on my own too). My wonderful sister Sharon, said absolutely not..I need to get off work...what a good reason...I will go with you. I am glad she is.
Do you know what my wonderful sister did yesterday? She teaches an art class at her school...I believe kindergarten- 2nd grade. Guess what their art project was yesterday!!!!! Bald women!!! Really? She said she just couldn't help herself....They were actually cute....just be sure I have enough lipstick on mine! Nothing like sister love!
Glenn was stroking my hair for the last time this morning before we got up. It is hard on him too. Now he can stroke a shiny bald head !!!! We love to keep it interesting!!
So tonite we will celebrate never having a nother bad hair day! I can get up, fluff it up pull it on, and go!!!! I am excited! Glenn will have a new woman! That might be exciting!!
Yes I am going to kick Chuck's buttt!!! First.
I have a Christian Brother that sends me Bible thoughts each morning on my phone. I told him today was going to to be hard he said God has counted my hairs and He is always in control.
I love you all. Hugs..Mel
If anyone knows me at all, you know I am a freak about my hair. My hair..let's just talk about it for a moment..shall we? I have thin fine hair. It has body but never at the right time...I have never had a "style" because it always does something different everyday..It really does have a mind of it's own. So I have hair products for every purpose one can imagine!
You know ladies how we are about our hair...well me anyways...if we are or think we are having a bad hair day..it makes our whole day bad! Am I right? Well today is the LAST BAD hair day for me...for at least 6 months!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!! FREEDOM!!!!!
OK....so I am going thru my bathroom drug store...I see Root lifter. Root Lifter???? That is funny. Three cans of Freeze It Hair Spray, Got to be Glued, Volumizing spray, Surfer Paste. This will all be available to anyone who would like a memento of my hair days!So today is the day...it seems this day was not supposed to get here this fast. When my nurse told me that I will lose my hair in exactly 7-10 days from my first chemo treatment..I knew I had to act pretty fast. I did..I (oops..I don't know how I got the
font changed..I don't have time to try to figure it out).
I decided that I was not going to sit around...waiting to see hair strands on my pillow or on the couch or eeewwwhhh in my plate!!! I decided that I would be in control of what I want happening. I am not in control of a lot right now, but my hair..oh yes..I am doing it my way. I am getting a buzz cut and leaving with my new look! I was going to go by myself to day...do something on my own, face my fears head on,(haha) be brave on my own, (probably get lost on my own too). My wonderful sister Sharon, said absolutely not..I need to get off work...what a good reason...I will go with you. I am glad she is.Do you know what my wonderful sister did yesterday? She teaches an art class at her school...I believe kindergarten- 2nd grade. Guess what their art project was yesterday!!!!! Bald women!!! Really? She said she just couldn't help herself....They were actually cute....just be sure I have enough lipstick on mine! Nothing like sister love!
Glenn was stroking my hair for the last time this morning before we got up. It is hard on him too. Now he can stroke a shiny bald head !!!! We love to keep it interesting!!
So tonite we will celebrate never having a nother bad hair day! I can get up, fluff it up pull it on, and go!!!! I am excited! Glenn will have a new woman! That might be exciting!!
Yes I am going to kick Chuck's buttt!!! First.
I have a Christian Brother that sends me Bible thoughts each morning on my phone. I told him today was going to to be hard he said God has counted my hairs and He is always in control.
I love you all. Hugs..Mel
Friday, January 6, 2012
The day after....not bad at all. I slept in til about 9. I will have to say the worst part of the day was coffee or my lack of. Any who know me well enough, know that I dream of coffee waiting on the when I wake in the morning. I want a cup by my bedside as I wake for my slumber, even before I open one eye. Well I did wake a little nauseated and tried to drink my coffee....I just couldn't ! Oh the horror of not tasting that wonder flavor of dark rich freshly ground beans with splenda and a dash of French Vanilla creamer. My day did not start well.
After that drama things did look up. I was not sick, I was only a little nauseated and a \little tired. I tried to get some things organized and put away. I have never seen so may cancer books, phamplets test results, do this do that.. take this pill take that pill, drink, eat. Oh my I need a personal assistant.
That where Glenn and Katie come in. They are my official germ Nazi team. WE have a table set up at the door with Sanitizer, gloves, masks,,signs that say pull your shoes off at the door if we deem you well enough to enter. It is cute... little excessive? maybe... but they are not going to let me get sick!
In the grocery store today Katie said, "do not touch anything..just point and I will put it in the cart".
Wow this whole sickness has turned our world around. So much to keep up with, so many do's and don'ts
The thing I continue to be so overjoyed by is the concern of my family and friends. Even children that GLenn teach made me cards to day and he brought them home. People that I don't very very well are now praying just for me. Isn't that what it is about? God wants us to be caring to each other, Love one another. I for one am feeling the power of prayer.
I ask you..if you do not believe in the power of prayer or are on the fence about what you believe..I challenge you. Try a prayer for your self or someone else. Ask me to help you.. I believe, I have Faith, and I trust.
God bless you all. Love Mel
After that drama things did look up. I was not sick, I was only a little nauseated and a \little tired. I tried to get some things organized and put away. I have never seen so may cancer books, phamplets test results, do this do that.. take this pill take that pill, drink, eat. Oh my I need a personal assistant.
That where Glenn and Katie come in. They are my official germ Nazi team. WE have a table set up at the door with Sanitizer, gloves, masks,,signs that say pull your shoes off at the door if we deem you well enough to enter. It is cute... little excessive? maybe... but they are not going to let me get sick!
In the grocery store today Katie said, "do not touch anything..just point and I will put it in the cart".
Wow this whole sickness has turned our world around. So much to keep up with, so many do's and don'ts
The thing I continue to be so overjoyed by is the concern of my family and friends. Even children that GLenn teach made me cards to day and he brought them home. People that I don't very very well are now praying just for me. Isn't that what it is about? God wants us to be caring to each other, Love one another. I for one am feeling the power of prayer.
I ask you..if you do not believe in the power of prayer or are on the fence about what you believe..I challenge you. Try a prayer for your self or someone else. Ask me to help you.. I believe, I have Faith, and I trust.
God bless you all. Love Mel
Thursday, January 5, 2012
One down
Hello friends...I can honestly say today was much better than I had expected. That anxiety attack I had last night when I went to bed was needless!! Glenn and I got there around 9 o'clock. I had to have a chest x-ray to be sure the port was in place properly..it was.
We go to our own little private room with recliner, TV , we had our own laptop and they also provided another one if we wanted it. Hooking the port up was not as painful as I thought...of course I was thinking the worst!! I got a bag of fluids with lots of good anti-nausea meds, as norm, then the red devil came into my room! This is the Adrianmycin...the killler....named Red Devil. It showed its face in two 30cc syringes. This has to be a little close to the feeling that someone about to get the lethal injection must feel!!! ya think? I know that when she starts pushing the red devil in my port my body, as I use to know it, is ceaseing to be. It didn't hurt at all...when I got up to go to the potty..it was red...well it had made it's way thru and out!
Next came the Cytoxin, don't have a nick name for that one. I was told by the nurse this one can make the top of your nose toward the forehead burn. It did...not bad just aburning sensation that ICould tolerate...but no... Glenn told them and they turned it down some. Thank you Glenn
We had lunch while we were there which was really good. I got unplugged and we went home. I was just very sleepy by that time and we both crashed for a couple hours.
Glenn is being so overprotective....He has put signs on our doors saying tha't 'if you would like to come in you must pull your shoes off at the door, if you are sick or been around any sickness, here is your mask and hand sanitizer.. you may not get close only air kisses and hugs'!!! He is a great caregiver!!
So right now I have just a dull headache and a little nausea. I can handle this.
Loves to all...Mel
We go to our own little private room with recliner, TV , we had our own laptop and they also provided another one if we wanted it. Hooking the port up was not as painful as I thought...of course I was thinking the worst!! I got a bag of fluids with lots of good anti-nausea meds, as norm, then the red devil came into my room! This is the Adrianmycin...the killler....named Red Devil. It showed its face in two 30cc syringes. This has to be a little close to the feeling that someone about to get the lethal injection must feel!!! ya think? I know that when she starts pushing the red devil in my port my body, as I use to know it, is ceaseing to be. It didn't hurt at all...when I got up to go to the potty..it was red...well it had made it's way thru and out!
Next came the Cytoxin, don't have a nick name for that one. I was told by the nurse this one can make the top of your nose toward the forehead burn. It did...not bad just aburning sensation that ICould tolerate...but no... Glenn told them and they turned it down some. Thank you Glenn
We had lunch while we were there which was really good. I got unplugged and we went home. I was just very sleepy by that time and we both crashed for a couple hours.
Glenn is being so overprotective....He has put signs on our doors saying tha't 'if you would like to come in you must pull your shoes off at the door, if you are sick or been around any sickness, here is your mask and hand sanitizer.. you may not get close only air kisses and hugs'!!! He is a great caregiver!!
So right now I have just a dull headache and a little nausea. I can handle this.
Loves to all...Mel
Chuck day!
Well today is the day that my enemy Chuck will be starting to be vanished from me!! I am really grateful for drugs...they make you sleep so good. I had a little anxiety attack when I went to bed..let my meds kick in..Then I awoke at 6 'clock and said what day is this? Glenn said it's the day we go to the hospital and start irraticating Chuck. Oh yea..how could I of forgotten.?
I fell a little more at ease knowig that my worst fears of having to move my living area to the toilet and my mouth being full of sores and oh the worst..my nails coming out...will moe thanlikely not happen!!!!! Thank you GOd!!! Not my nails...for those of you that know me and work with me know I cannot take seeing or hearing anything about an injjured nail!!!
OK so I feel a little better.. for now...we will see. Thank you all for listening and praying.
Love to all Mel
I fell a little more at ease knowig that my worst fears of having to move my living area to the toilet and my mouth being full of sores and oh the worst..my nails coming out...will moe thanlikely not happen!!!!! Thank you GOd!!! Not my nails...for those of you that know me and work with me know I cannot take seeing or hearing anything about an injjured nail!!!
OK so I feel a little better.. for now...we will see. Thank you all for listening and praying.
Love to all Mel
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
the last supper
So today I feel like I am on a time crunch. I thought I felt that way yesterday but it didn't work,..I didn't get one thing accomplished I wanted to except get a shower. Katie and Lula came over for a visit..They cleaned out the leftovers from my frige. We had a good family time she even tried my new hair own! She looked cute as short brunnette!
I think we all are having times of great emotion, when you just can't hold it in any longer. Last night was Glenn's. He loves me so much and just hates to see me have to go thru any sickness at all. He has been so supportive and loving, I cannot imagine going thru this without him. Even though I know I have a huge support system of helpers, cooks, cleaners shoulders to lean on and the list goes on. I am still scared.
So today I will cook some meals to have later, vacuum and clean real good and just have things ready....for whatever is coming tommorow.
My last supper tonight will by my favorite..Mexican at SanFelipe...Wed. is 99cent margarita's. Another thing to celebrate will be my soon to be son-in-law..he finds out his match for his Orthopaedic fellowship place for next year..already know it's good!!!!
I know my blog page is boring..I have been looking at others and theirs has pictures and stuff..I wil be working on that so mine will be pretty too.
Time to go get started!! Love to all.. Mel
I think we all are having times of great emotion, when you just can't hold it in any longer. Last night was Glenn's. He loves me so much and just hates to see me have to go thru any sickness at all. He has been so supportive and loving, I cannot imagine going thru this without him. Even though I know I have a huge support system of helpers, cooks, cleaners shoulders to lean on and the list goes on. I am still scared.
So today I will cook some meals to have later, vacuum and clean real good and just have things ready....for whatever is coming tommorow.
My last supper tonight will by my favorite..Mexican at SanFelipe...Wed. is 99cent margarita's. Another thing to celebrate will be my soon to be son-in-law..he finds out his match for his Orthopaedic fellowship place for next year..already know it's good!!!!
I know my blog page is boring..I have been looking at others and theirs has pictures and stuff..I wil be working on that so mine will be pretty too.
Time to go get started!! Love to all.. Mel
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
tick tock
Hello dear friends...today I am trying really hard to stay busy and focused. I beleive this is the first day I have actually been at home byself. The last few weeks were dealing with post surgery, Katie's kidney stone, then everyone out of school and home for the holidays, going somewhere..etc. So today everyone is back at school to work. I was told not to just sit and watch TV. I was told to get myself into a routine everyday. So far..I got up with Glenn, had my delish coffee, wateched a little FOX, had poptarts, packed Glenn's lunch...saw him off and took a shower. I did have a littel surprise waiting me on the theps outside this morning..a dear friend had dropped off some cupcakes and a card for me! How sweet is that? Thank you Casey.
My darn arm and chest are still sore from that alien that was put in. I need to name that...oh I think from this point on I will be referring to my cancer as "Chuck"..thanks Myrene. I am whiney today. My throat is still sore..I think they scratched it when I had surgery with that thing they put down your throat so you can breathe. I have this chronic right sided sinus thing that always bothers me, every morning I am waking up about 3a.m. wide awake. boo hoo!!!
So everyone is back to their normal routines it seems..I only wish I had a normal one to get back too. Nothing will be normal for me for about 7 months. I am anxious to see what my normal will really be like..I know it will involve an infusion of toxic medication thru this alien I have every 3 weeks...I am sure I will be expelling all those toxins afterwards..Glenn is so prepared..he is getting me a special bucket this week!!! how exciting..I hope he can find a pink one...pink has always been my favorite color.
So today I find myself thinking more and more about what is really happening. Everything has been so busy the past few weeks I really don't think I have had a chance to come to grips with Chuck(remember my cancer)The clock is ticking, My time is getting closer to the start of my normal. I think I have had enough of a pity party for one day. I know buck up! Think I will go have a cupcake!
Everyone have a great day! Love Mel
My darn arm and chest are still sore from that alien that was put in. I need to name that...oh I think from this point on I will be referring to my cancer as "Chuck"..thanks Myrene. I am whiney today. My throat is still sore..I think they scratched it when I had surgery with that thing they put down your throat so you can breathe. I have this chronic right sided sinus thing that always bothers me, every morning I am waking up about 3a.m. wide awake. boo hoo!!!
So everyone is back to their normal routines it seems..I only wish I had a normal one to get back too. Nothing will be normal for me for about 7 months. I am anxious to see what my normal will really be like..I know it will involve an infusion of toxic medication thru this alien I have every 3 weeks...I am sure I will be expelling all those toxins afterwards..Glenn is so prepared..he is getting me a special bucket this week!!! how exciting..I hope he can find a pink one...pink has always been my favorite color.
So today I find myself thinking more and more about what is really happening. Everything has been so busy the past few weeks I really don't think I have had a chance to come to grips with Chuck(remember my cancer)The clock is ticking, My time is getting closer to the start of my normal. I think I have had enough of a pity party for one day. I know buck up! Think I will go have a cupcake!
Everyone have a great day! Love Mel
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