OK...I thought I would share my typical chemo day. I usually do all my housework, maybe some cooking, laundry on Wednesday in anticipation on the big day. My appointment wasn't until 10:30 this morning so I decided to do a little housework before I left. I do this because I never how I will be feeling for the next day or so.
I arrive at the Cancer Center and get checked in. The girls that do this are super nice. They know me without asking my name an it has been that way since the second day. I see my fellow bald friends waiting. I sit down and immediately we all three start carrying on our conversation. One lady...who looked so much better today was smiling. She had been so sick the past few times she could not even talk. Today she is doing great. My other pal is here with her husband. She comes over and we start comparing how we are feeling, what we are doing or not doing at home. We have a kindred friendship. It cannot be described. Others will never understand. We share a common bond. We are sisters of cancer.
I get called back to get my bloodwork done. I always always have to have a pregnancy test done. I just laugh and go pee in a cup. My bloodwork is good. My counts are holding steady. My infection fighting cells are high enough. I am not anemic. It's a go!!!!
I pick out my chair. I recline back and get ready. The treatment room is large. There are about 10 patient chairs and a companion chair beside it. I pick the chair beside my friend and her husband. My other friend is not in here yet. I know she will choose the chair beside me.
There is a new nurse learning how to access ports...great. She comes to me and gets everything ready. She connects with very little problems. I'm a baby when it comes to needles...even after all this time.
Our favorite volunteer is not here today. She comes in to give us blankets, snacks, drinks and support. She went through breast cancer, so she knows what all this is like. We miss her today. I got my little goodie bag. It a kit kat, crunch bar some mints and crackers. These bags are put together by mostly church groups, ladies clubs. It is so nice of them to donate all these special things that make us feel special.
So I got bag number one running in. This is for nausea. Thank you Lord!!! The next one will be Benadryle. This is for the immediate side effects. I was taking 50 mg of this. I am now only getting 25mg. Two weeks ago on 50, I started getting what I call Jimmi legs. I can't keep my legs still. It is like torture. I can't go to sleep because I got to wiggle them. One the nurses noticed this and called my doctor about. From then on it has been 25mg and my legs stay still!!! YAY! and I don't feel like I am on street drugs...my speech isn't slurred, I can think and and I am not saying stupid stuff. I am in my right mind. sorta.
Okay, my IV thing is beeping...I need another bag...of something!!!
I am getting chilly now...not power surges to keep me warm. Blanket please!!! All the staff here are awesome. They know what they are doing and make sure we are cared for. I am glad I chose to stay in Asheboro.
I get to order lunch...yay hospital food. I am getting hungry..I made the mistake of buying non frosted Blueberry poptarts the other day. So that's what I had for breakfast this morning..very nutritional. I ordered chicken pie...of course.... they just called and do not have any...ugh... I changed my order to chicken tenders... ymm h
Ok wait a minute..I was just talking to my pal and I sounded like I have had few to many. I have to try real hard to sound sensible. Oh dear...I hope you can make sense of my writing...I may not know what I'm doing. I'm having trouble spelling..I know i have spellcheck. I put a comment on facebook the other night, Spelling was awful and it didn't make sense...actually I didn't even remember doing it! That's scary!!
I just got a nice warm blanket...straight out of the warmer. It feels sooo good. I get cold in here. Nurse D just brought out he big gun...the chemo bag. In it goes....two more treatments...I can do it. Okay..so here I am sitting...blogging, getting sleepy.
Yippeee...my lunch got just here...the lunch lady looks like we are causing her problems. Just give me my tenders and taters. Actually it is not bad at all.
My friend Reba and I have been through our chemo together. We started the same day and have had the exact same schedule. We both have two treatments left. We have sorta pulled each other on these days. It's been close to 2 1/2 hrs. We both look at our IV bags...mine is about 3/4 left. Reba's IV start peeping. What? how can you be finished before me...you started after me? We are competing to see who gets outta there first.
Just as we are both being unhooked, a lady in a scarf walks by and stops to chat with us. She had been there all morning, but was in a room and I didn't see her earlier. She looks at me and says, "Melanie I didn't know you had cancer" Oh dear she knows me and I do not recognize her!!! What to do? pretend? NO!!!.. I just looked at her and said "who are you"...then at that exact moment her name popped put of my mouth.
We have been long time acquaintances. Some of our children went to school together and she and her family are patients where I work. I had not seen her in several years and she had lost about 150 pounds. I could not believe she was there and she I.
She was diagnosed with leukemia about two months ago and is undergoing treatments. I told her my story and we just hugged. Cancer has no preference, is not racist, is not prejudiced, doesn't care if you are rich or poor, in the prime of your life, have a family. It just doesn't care. The good thing about cancer is....You can get thru it and it changes your life for the better..if you let it.
I got home, I fell on the couch and slept for two hours. Now I am going to have tacos at a litel taco shop and then to delishi with Glenn and Katie to celebrate another one down!!!
love to all, Mel
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
blessed mess
Well it is happening......I am starting to feel the effects of this chemo round. Yes I am just going to complain. I am not going to say " I am doing really good" when someone asks me. Oh I know it is not really really bad....but I just don't like it! I am slow getting up and down. I walk slow...I have always been a really fast walker. I feel like I am carrying weights on my arms and legs.....but I'm not getting the benefits from that. No instead I have put on a few extra pounds! What? I thought when you go thru chemo you lose weight. I should be quiet and be thankful I am not sick and lose weight that way. My doctor M. said most women with breast cancer gain weight while on chemo. Great.
I have a goal when I get well. I want to really get back in shape, have some nice muscular arms instead of flab, and try to get into running a little more and do some runs. Oh and belly fat..don't forget belly fat...me and my sister were comparing our bellys the other day....we will work on that too. We will see how it goes but this is something I really want to do for myself.
I have four treatments to go...four!!! I can't believe how fast the last five months have gone by. I am really almost finished.
Another thing I don't like are these...summer moments...power surges...hot flashes!!!! My hormones are just all out of whack. One minute I'm freezing..the next I am having a meltdown. They are mainly at night. I wonder why that is. So Glenn is real happy about all that. I cry, I fan, I am a mess. At least he likes it real cold at night..now so do I.
Glenn and I went to Waynesville this past weekend, to spend some time with the boy..Derek. It was good to see him. I really miss him. There is not so much to do around there. We usually like to go hiking and find some interesting places to see. Oh but no, I had to feel like a 100 year old woman moving around. Hiking? are you kidding? I barely made it just walking on the side walk down town trying to do a little shopping in Mast General Store. I had to go back to the place we stayed and rest the whole afternoon.
My legs and arms just won't co-operate. OK four more...four more.
We stayed at the most peaceful place. I found a good deal at the Waynesville Inn Golf Resort....ha! You may of heard of it or you may of stayed there. It is a historical golfing inn. Yes there were a lot of guys there...having guy weekend and golfing. Our room was right on the fairway...we had a little patio right on the greens. it was so peaceful sitting there watching the ducks land on the little pond and all the birds flying around. The room was just ok....we were able to take our dog Abby...when we checked in they were going to upgrade us to the fancy main Inn but we couldn't have pets. Oh well...the peacefulness outweighed the room. Oh and we also got a free breakfast buffet in the Inn each morning. It was very nice.
Katie had given me a one day cleaning and organizing coupon for Mothers day. When we got back home yesterday my house was a mazing. She had cleaned and mostly she had organized my spare closets and rooms. Mind you now..she does not like clutter. I said just clean out. She did and she labeled things and got rid of things.....her words....".you will never miss anything". I am forever grateful to her!!
So here I sit..outside enjoying my new patio. I am a very blessed person despite it all. I do have pictures of all our new doings...just don't have them on here yet. I am trying. Maybe I will get my nerve up to ask Glenn to help me tonight.
I look around and I see all the blessings God has put in my life and I am so thankful. Even though I have this cancer thing...I am still very grateful for God's goodness in my life.
I will post more later....I still have more to say from the heart but I don't want to bore you to much at one time. Remember I am an emotional wreck right now...so who knows what will come spewing forth next time. :)
Loves and hugs to you all, Mel
I have a goal when I get well. I want to really get back in shape, have some nice muscular arms instead of flab, and try to get into running a little more and do some runs. Oh and belly fat..don't forget belly fat...me and my sister were comparing our bellys the other day....we will work on that too. We will see how it goes but this is something I really want to do for myself.
I have four treatments to go...four!!! I can't believe how fast the last five months have gone by. I am really almost finished.
Another thing I don't like are these...summer moments...power surges...hot flashes!!!! My hormones are just all out of whack. One minute I'm freezing..the next I am having a meltdown. They are mainly at night. I wonder why that is. So Glenn is real happy about all that. I cry, I fan, I am a mess. At least he likes it real cold at night..now so do I.
Glenn and I went to Waynesville this past weekend, to spend some time with the boy..Derek. It was good to see him. I really miss him. There is not so much to do around there. We usually like to go hiking and find some interesting places to see. Oh but no, I had to feel like a 100 year old woman moving around. Hiking? are you kidding? I barely made it just walking on the side walk down town trying to do a little shopping in Mast General Store. I had to go back to the place we stayed and rest the whole afternoon.
My legs and arms just won't co-operate. OK four more...four more.
We stayed at the most peaceful place. I found a good deal at the Waynesville Inn Golf Resort....ha! You may of heard of it or you may of stayed there. It is a historical golfing inn. Yes there were a lot of guys there...having guy weekend and golfing. Our room was right on the fairway...we had a little patio right on the greens. it was so peaceful sitting there watching the ducks land on the little pond and all the birds flying around. The room was just ok....we were able to take our dog Abby...when we checked in they were going to upgrade us to the fancy main Inn but we couldn't have pets. Oh well...the peacefulness outweighed the room. Oh and we also got a free breakfast buffet in the Inn each morning. It was very nice.
Katie had given me a one day cleaning and organizing coupon for Mothers day. When we got back home yesterday my house was a mazing. She had cleaned and mostly she had organized my spare closets and rooms. Mind you now..she does not like clutter. I said just clean out. She did and she labeled things and got rid of things.....her words....".you will never miss anything". I am forever grateful to her!!
So here I sit..outside enjoying my new patio. I am a very blessed person despite it all. I do have pictures of all our new doings...just don't have them on here yet. I am trying. Maybe I will get my nerve up to ask Glenn to help me tonight.
I look around and I see all the blessings God has put in my life and I am so thankful. Even though I have this cancer thing...I am still very grateful for God's goodness in my life.
I will post more later....I still have more to say from the heart but I don't want to bore you to much at one time. Remember I am an emotional wreck right now...so who knows what will come spewing forth next time. :)
Loves and hugs to you all, Mel
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mothers Day
I hope all the wonderful Mothers had a fantastic Mother's Day yesterday. I enjoyed being with all my family and my Mother at a cookout down at Grandma's house...or Miss Nannie or Aunt Nannie however you remember her!!! I sure love my family and all the joy we share. We get together as often as we can..for any occasion too.
We were just missing a some boys from the group. Sharon's two and Derek. Katie brought me in the most beautiful pink Calla Lillie's and the sweetest card. It is fun to see how through the years my children's cards and what they tell me change. It is very rewarding to see that.
Well my room is done!!! We started moving stuff in Saturday night and a few thing Sunday afternoon. It is wonderful! I will post some pics once I figure it out again!! The poor dogs..they are so upset by all the change. I'm thinking it's going to take several days for the to get adjusted. They don't know where to go!
On Saturday, our contractor Freddie and his wife were here working on the house. We have really gotten to know them good. They are a young family for Guatemala. They have been in the U.S. for 14 years. He did an excellent job on our room. We had dinner with them a couple of nights and really got to know them. They wanted to learn English better so Glenn put a program on their computer to help them learn. I feel like we are family now. I'm gonna miss them....but glad my room is finished!!!
During Saturdays work, one of our wonderful church family and friends came over and helped with the cleaning. I had so much to do because of the construction dust and chaos. I can not thank them enough!!! I usually would not want anyone to come in and clean my house...but I am still learning that people really want to help in some way..and it's ok to let them. Shout out to Adrian, Michelle, Abby and Megan! Love you guys!!!
I have felt pretty good this weekend. Just very tired from all the moving and stuff. I just feel like I am ...maybe....90....is that an old age???? Trouble getting going in the mornings. My legs don't want to work right first thing. Oh and we puppy sat this weekend too. Katie's little Lula....my granddoggie. So we had an extra four-legged friend for the weekend.
Hope everyone has a great week. Thank you all for following me along. I will get some room pics up as soon as I can.
Love and Hugs...Melanie
We were just missing a some boys from the group. Sharon's two and Derek. Katie brought me in the most beautiful pink Calla Lillie's and the sweetest card. It is fun to see how through the years my children's cards and what they tell me change. It is very rewarding to see that.
Well my room is done!!! We started moving stuff in Saturday night and a few thing Sunday afternoon. It is wonderful! I will post some pics once I figure it out again!! The poor dogs..they are so upset by all the change. I'm thinking it's going to take several days for the to get adjusted. They don't know where to go!
On Saturday, our contractor Freddie and his wife were here working on the house. We have really gotten to know them good. They are a young family for Guatemala. They have been in the U.S. for 14 years. He did an excellent job on our room. We had dinner with them a couple of nights and really got to know them. They wanted to learn English better so Glenn put a program on their computer to help them learn. I feel like we are family now. I'm gonna miss them....but glad my room is finished!!!
During Saturdays work, one of our wonderful church family and friends came over and helped with the cleaning. I had so much to do because of the construction dust and chaos. I can not thank them enough!!! I usually would not want anyone to come in and clean my house...but I am still learning that people really want to help in some way..and it's ok to let them. Shout out to Adrian, Michelle, Abby and Megan! Love you guys!!!
I have felt pretty good this weekend. Just very tired from all the moving and stuff. I just feel like I am ...maybe....90....is that an old age???? Trouble getting going in the mornings. My legs don't want to work right first thing. Oh and we puppy sat this weekend too. Katie's little Lula....my granddoggie. So we had an extra four-legged friend for the weekend.
Hope everyone has a great week. Thank you all for following me along. I will get some room pics up as soon as I can.
Love and Hugs...Melanie
Friday, May 11, 2012
Happy day
TGIF!!!! How is everyone? I am doing very well. Had treatment number 6 yesterday. Got 5 left. I think that's right. I used to really keep up with this down to the minute. Now I guess it is just whatever. No not really I am excited. It's not over but I am past the mountain and going down the other side now.
Great news!!! My room is almost finished!!! Got the floors finished last night. Just got to do molding and gutters and its done. I have to say we had the best crews here working on everything. Our contractor is a Hispanic young man from Guatemala...all his subcontractors are Hispanic. We could not of asked for any more nice people to work with. We sat down Wed night and I fixed a big pot of chili and we all ate together.
I do have some pictures..but due to my present chemo brain....I can't remember how to put them on here. but I will.
I must say I feel much better than on last post. I have had a much better week. I know it will be this way for awhile. up and down. but hopefully things will level out soon.
I was able to go to church last Sunday. It was so good to be back with my fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord' s house. We had a weeks worth of food waiting on us that was provided by some wonderful cooks in our church. We got home and there was a huge pack of bbq ribs! Did they know Glenn was a rib man? We couldn't believe all the good food. We are truly blessed by our church family.
I'm going to go to work a few hours this afternoon. I got to stay away from germs. My counts are at an all time low. So I have to be extremely careful. At work I can be. I just sit in my little cubby and talk on the phone. Pretty safe. I doubt I will be at church this Sunday, so I will say I love you all and thank you for all you do for us all.
Almost forgot.....Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful Mom's.
Have a fabulous weekend everyone.
Love to you all, Melanie
Great news!!! My room is almost finished!!! Got the floors finished last night. Just got to do molding and gutters and its done. I have to say we had the best crews here working on everything. Our contractor is a Hispanic young man from Guatemala...all his subcontractors are Hispanic. We could not of asked for any more nice people to work with. We sat down Wed night and I fixed a big pot of chili and we all ate together.
I do have some pictures..but due to my present chemo brain....I can't remember how to put them on here. but I will.
I must say I feel much better than on last post. I have had a much better week. I know it will be this way for awhile. up and down. but hopefully things will level out soon.
I was able to go to church last Sunday. It was so good to be back with my fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord' s house. We had a weeks worth of food waiting on us that was provided by some wonderful cooks in our church. We got home and there was a huge pack of bbq ribs! Did they know Glenn was a rib man? We couldn't believe all the good food. We are truly blessed by our church family.
I'm going to go to work a few hours this afternoon. I got to stay away from germs. My counts are at an all time low. So I have to be extremely careful. At work I can be. I just sit in my little cubby and talk on the phone. Pretty safe. I doubt I will be at church this Sunday, so I will say I love you all and thank you for all you do for us all.
Almost forgot.....Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful Mom's.
Have a fabulous weekend everyone.
Love to you all, Melanie
Friday, May 4, 2012
another day
OK...I can't get a fix on how I feel to day so I thought I would just blog about it. It has been a pretty good week. They got the room almost finished painted and are supposed to be coming out tomorrow to finish painting completely. I could not sleep good at all last night. I woke up around 4 and rolled and tumbled.. One minute I was hot the next I was cold. Ya see my hormones are just crazy..Chemo threw me straight into menopause. Not the normal way..like gradually over a couple of years or so. Oh no..I am talking about in about one month!!!! Poor Glenn
When I get my treatments they hype me upon steroids so I feel like the little boy in the movie Taladaga Nights...you know when he says "I'm all jacked up on Mt. Dew" well that's me the first 24 hrs afterwards. I finally got up around 5 this morning. I did a few errands in town. Went by and picked up my grandpuppy Lula for night. We sat outside for a little while and I thought I was getting a little sleepy so we came in and tried to take a nap. Not gonna happen. Oh well maybe I will crash tonight and get a good nights sleep.
I can't decide if I feel stress, depressed...I just feel a mess!!! It's just hard to explain.
I went by myself to my treatment yesterday for the first time. I really hated anyone to have to miss work again. I promised Glenn that I didn't mind. I have a couple fellow chemonites( I just made that word up) that I always talk with. The time goes by pretty fast. The benedryle didn't knock me out as bad. Thank goodness. But it did after I got home. I let the dogs out and I layed down for just a minute until I got them back in. You can't leave the little old 18 yr old Midget out by herself long. Well the next thing I know 2 hrs had gone by and I hadn't moved a muscle!!! The dogs were still fine.
So I just finished treatment number 9!!! That means I have 7 more to go. I know this should be the downhill easy part, and a way it is. But it is also a little scary..I know that with each treatment I feel just a little worse. I can tell my arms and hands feel weaker and they feel more numb and tingly at night when I wake up. Some mornings my legs are more tired. So I have a feeling this will just worsen. I can handle it though...I am over the hump and can handle anything thrown my way.
So back to how I feel...I don't know....I am feeling some anger, along with everything else.. I think all this is normal. I know that in a few months my life will be normal once again. I don't know..maybe it will be a different normal..I don't know what normal is. I know that I will not be the same person. I have learned many things during this time. I am hoping I will be a better person.
I apologize for the grammar and spelling on my blogs...sometimes my fingers just will not do what my brain is telling them. Remember it is chemo brain..no one else has that excuse!
I hope everyone has a great weekend. I sincerely appreciate all of you. I look back and can see how many views the blogs get and I am truly amazed sometimes. Thank you for sharing my journey. It make it a little easier knowing I am certainly not a lone.
I am going to go get an attitude adjustment..It may be called food. Everyone have a safe and blessed weekend.
Love and Hugs....Mel
Shout out to my Derek----I sure do miss you!!!
When I get my treatments they hype me upon steroids so I feel like the little boy in the movie Taladaga Nights...you know when he says "I'm all jacked up on Mt. Dew" well that's me the first 24 hrs afterwards. I finally got up around 5 this morning. I did a few errands in town. Went by and picked up my grandpuppy Lula for night. We sat outside for a little while and I thought I was getting a little sleepy so we came in and tried to take a nap. Not gonna happen. Oh well maybe I will crash tonight and get a good nights sleep.
I can't decide if I feel stress, depressed...I just feel a mess!!! It's just hard to explain.
I went by myself to my treatment yesterday for the first time. I really hated anyone to have to miss work again. I promised Glenn that I didn't mind. I have a couple fellow chemonites( I just made that word up) that I always talk with. The time goes by pretty fast. The benedryle didn't knock me out as bad. Thank goodness. But it did after I got home. I let the dogs out and I layed down for just a minute until I got them back in. You can't leave the little old 18 yr old Midget out by herself long. Well the next thing I know 2 hrs had gone by and I hadn't moved a muscle!!! The dogs were still fine.
So I just finished treatment number 9!!! That means I have 7 more to go. I know this should be the downhill easy part, and a way it is. But it is also a little scary..I know that with each treatment I feel just a little worse. I can tell my arms and hands feel weaker and they feel more numb and tingly at night when I wake up. Some mornings my legs are more tired. So I have a feeling this will just worsen. I can handle it though...I am over the hump and can handle anything thrown my way.
So back to how I feel...I don't know....I am feeling some anger, along with everything else.. I think all this is normal. I know that in a few months my life will be normal once again. I don't know..maybe it will be a different normal..I don't know what normal is. I know that I will not be the same person. I have learned many things during this time. I am hoping I will be a better person.
I apologize for the grammar and spelling on my blogs...sometimes my fingers just will not do what my brain is telling them. Remember it is chemo brain..no one else has that excuse!
I hope everyone has a great weekend. I sincerely appreciate all of you. I look back and can see how many views the blogs get and I am truly amazed sometimes. Thank you for sharing my journey. It make it a little easier knowing I am certainly not a lone.
I am going to go get an attitude adjustment..It may be called food. Everyone have a safe and blessed weekend.
Love and Hugs....Mel
Shout out to my Derek----I sure do miss you!!!
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