getting there

Well it has been exactly one week and one day since my very last treatment.   I'm waiting.......waiting......waiting to feel good!!!!  Maybe I'm trying to rush things a little..  For the  last 12 weeks I have had a treatment every Thursday so I don't know how the day after should feel like without one.  I do know yesterday and the day before were bad days. Of course I  to ED and being had been stressed and busy with my Dad taking him to the hospital and having him admitted for super low BP.  He got home yesterday and I just stayed at home yesterday to rest.   I felt exhausted yesterday and almost lost my balance and fell in Walker shoes trying on flip flops....I thought some retail therapy might make me feel better.  I grabbed on to the shelf and regained my composure. nobody saw that).

I feel and look like a buffer fish.  My eyes are so puffy, my ankles are kankles.  My doctor is going to call me in some fluid pills.  So my eyes will hopefully match now...one won't be puffier and droopier than the other.

I went to bed last night exahusted..I thought certainly I will fall asleep fast...NOT...my legs ached, my head still hurt from a miagrain I got earlier in the day.  I got up and took another (relaxer) and some advil.  Soon I was in the land of slumber.  I don't even remember dreaming!!!

Yes..it is almost over....I am ready to feel good.  I have many weeds to pull....they are just waiting....they have missed me.

I still got pictures to put up..but I  just still don't feel like using my brain much right now. I just am having to make myself do a lot right now.   I hope that hurries and comes back.

I will post a gain.   I need to go take all my meds.. I feel my arms starting to ache just sitting here typing.  BUt whose complaining.....it is going to be better!!!!

More later...gotta go have more  coffee!!!

LOves and hugs...Mel

(I'm not even doing spell check)

happy days

Just a little quick note for now.  I did have my last treatment Thursday!!!!  It doesn't seem real.  So right now I am starting to feel crappy...weak, achy, a littel unsteady on my feet.. but the best part is...these are the last few days I have to hopefully ever feel this way again.  I am not feeling sorry for myself I am rejoicing!!!!

I have some pictures to post and I will.  I have lot's of thoughts to share with you all.  I have lots to do today.  I promise I wil be back.  I so appreciate you all following me on my posts and my journey.  You have been my inspiration.


Have a great Saturday!  I will be back.

Loves and hugs,,,Mel.

counting down

I know last time I sounded pitiful....I think I am over it !!  I am trying to have a positive attitude.  Good grief!!!!  I only have one more treatment left to go...who wouldn't have a better attitude?  Sixteen chemotherapy treatments over the last six months....whew..that's a lot.  I made it!!

I'm not going to post a lot today...I'm saving it.  I do have a lot to say and share with you all.  I'll get that done another post.

I do want to say a big heartfelt thank you to some of my friends.  I went by my workplace last week and everyone had signed a card for me.  That meant a lot to me.  I do miss being at work.  My miss my co-workers and just being a part of something.  I also got a special gift from a friend I have never even met...yet.

Through this whole experience..I can certainly say..I have not been through it alone.  I could not of made it without the network of friends and support I have had.  I love you all.

Have a great Sunday.   Be back again soon.  Mel

impatient

I know I fell off my job....posting and being humorous and being happy and being inspirational.   I'm just not feeling it. I should be elated...I got two more treatments left!!!!  I just can't get excited.

The last few treatments are have been the worst of all.   I am thankful.  I am so thankful overall has been great compared to what all the side effects could of been like.  I only have had a few minor things.

Now I sleep for two days after my treatments.  Saturday and Sunday were blurrs.   I did get to go to church Sunday morning.   That certainly was a good thing and it felt so good to be back.  I was worn out.  I slept.

Today I had a hard time getting up.  I slept in a little while.   I got up and felt pretty good.  I actually felt like doing things.  I kinda tidied up out side on the patio, watered some flowers.  It felt so good.  Kinda like being alive again.

I debated weather to do laundry and dishes.  I decided to do a load of clothes.   There are dishes to unload in the dishwasher and sink full of dirty dishes...for two days...waiting.....I think they are just going to wait.  Can you tell I am a little aggravated? 

Don't get me wrong...I have had the best...the best...husband helping me, but for some reason..I feel like he thinks I am really not sick and I can continue doing all the house chores.  We ran out of sugar...twice he commented about that.  Well he knows the way to the grocery store.  I am just tired of it all.  Six months is a long time and I am getting very impatient, about everything.

Right now my legs are numb, my arms feel they weigh 100 pounds.  I started having a migraine earlier.  I took some medicine just closed my eyes for a few minutes.  It seemed to to help.   I had planned on going to see my parents today.  I am still gonna try to go.

Just two more......just two more.  I just want to feel good again.  I just want to do things.  I don't want to be "snappy" to my husband.  I want to enjoy being with friends and family and feeling good and not having to pretend a little.

I look out my windows, I see such beauty and I am so blessed as I look at my surroundings.  All this cancer has taken away alot of joy and happiness.  It has taken away part of my life.  I know it will all come back.  I just hold on to that.    I am just not happy today.

Hopefully next post I can be joyous!!!!!

Love to all...Mel