I know I know. I am getting slack on keeping up with my blog. I'm sorry if you look and are disappointed when you don't see any new and exciting things to read about my exciting life!! I feel like everything is just on hold. I know it is not.
Ok a little funny I will share with you all. You know the chemo caused ALL my hair to come out. Since I have started on the new chemo, five weeks ago, I have noticed that the hair on my head has stated to grow some. It is a little thicker and a little longer. My doctor said it may start coming back and staying!!!!! Well when I went to take my shower the other night...guess what? I noticed I have underarm hair again!!!!!!!! I was so excited I ran to Glenn and showed him..he just laughed.
This is serious. This means that my hair is coming back and I probably will not have to be wearing a wig to Katie's wedding in October. I know you can't understand how BIG this is but believe me...from my standpoint having a cabinet full of scarves, hats, wigs...it is HUGE!!! I'll have to go buy some new razors!!!!!
I have been feeling a little down this week. I went to work for just a couple hours Wed. I walked in and I felt like I didn't belong anymore. I felt out of place. Even though I have been there for 23 years, it just felt different now that I have been out several months. I know that once I get back more regular or fulltime, things will just fall back into place. I am really looking forward to getting back to a normal life.
I am exactly half way thru chemo. I have 8 treatments left. Yes I am happy about this. I can't beleive how the first half has just flown by. I am so thankful for my family and friends helping get me thru. Without you all it would be so much harder. I love you all for this.
Everyone said that women on chemo tend to gain some weight. Well I was hoping I would lose just a few pounds, but no...... I have gained just a few. I look in the mirror and I see puffy!!! I don't want to be puffy!!!! So now with the new chemo Taxol...it makes you have some peripheral neuropathy. Your hand fell numb and tired. My legs feel like I have run a marathon and are like jello. All this is not bad. It is not hindering anything, but I can tell it is there. Some days are a little worse than others. So I am puffy and jello. Great.
Last night Katie had a little get together at her house. She and T have done alot of hard work on it and wanted some friends and family to share it. I had a pretty good day yesterday. They turned on some music we all tried to learn a couple of new dances. One was the wobble. Well..I can't wobble. I got no moves. Katie tried to teach me and I did something... I kept thinking ...I am puffy, my legs are like jello....I feel like a weeble...you know it...weebles wobble but they don't fall down!!!
Anyway we had fun and I had to get home by 9 to go to bed. This morning I feel like a weeble. I am whiny, I cried on Glenn before he left for church, I was going to try to go but then a little wave of nausea hit...my legs feel wobbly. There is no sun, there is no warmth, I have no nice new room to go too. I am having a pity party.
I'm going to get over it. I have so much to be thankful for and I never forget that. I just have to have moment sometimes. I am thankful for you all that keep up with this. It is so encouraging to hear you tell me how much you enjoy reading. I never feel alone. Thank you all so much. I love you all and am so glad to have you in my life.
I will have a better day....I will stop whining and rejoice in the day the Lord has made.
Loves and hugs...Mel
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
wild and crazy
Winnie the Pooh would say "my what a blustery day". I quite frankly am tired of blustery days and cold days and not so much rainy days yet. Reason being the builders work on our house when it is mostly raining. All the outside work is done so they can stay on the inside and dry. Their other main jobs are outside right now...so where are they today. I am getting very impatient. Everyone says builders are like this. They are doing an excellent job on our room.
Have a had a pretty good week and weekend. Went to my brother and sister n laws house Saturday night for a wild pig pickin!!! Yes a wild pig pickin. The pig was a wild pig shot and killed in Montgomery county. Allen smoked it on Saturday and we ate it. You know when you think of a wild hog being cooked whole on the big old cooker you get this image...you know.a big fat pig, with tusks, and an apple stuck neatly in it's mouth..right? That is what I expected to see when the lid was rolled back but instead there was this headless, footless lean body of a pig cooked and looking good. I believe this was first experience with wild pig. It tasted mostly like regular BBQ. Good job boys!!!
Katie and Lula went to Cullowhee to spend the weekend with Derek. They arrived safely back home yesterday. I was worried the whole time. You know how us mothers are. We never stop worrying about our children, no matter how old they are. I am really beginning to understand how my parents feel :worrying about us just like that.
For the most part I am feeling pretty good. I can tell this new patch of treatment is different from the first. I am beginning to feel my hands and arms loose energy. They feel very heavy and sometimes tingly and just a little numb. This is after only 4 treatments. I dread to see how I will be after 8 more. I just pray God will continue to be merciful and it wont get real bad.
I still am so thankful so far. I was talking with lady I know that is going thru treatments. I saw she was in a wheelchair and a cast on her lower leg. She was on the same treatments as me and her legs and feet got so numb she could not even tell which way she was standing and she tripped and broke her leg in three places! I have nothing to complain about...so far. I am sure I will be whining some if and when things should start getting worse. I will be grateful for some things but ticked off about things too. I think I am allowed.
I ordered me some new hats last week. I am beginning to think that the most aggravating part about this is having no hair. It is just a pain knowing you need to cover your head with something most of the time. Then you have to worry about it flying off your head running after it like a Little furry puppy running away! I keep thinking it is almost over but then I think no it's not I got at least five more months with no hair!! So I will continue to buy stuff I need spring and summer fashions now!!
Better get back to my laundry. Today is laundry day. Every time Glenn looks in my closet he laughs. I hang all my clothes according to color. does anyone else do that? It just makes it easy so if I want to wear a black shirt I just go to the black section and pick out the one I want. It is very simple. Maybe its OCD! It makes me happy!!!!
Have a marvelous Monday dear friends.
LOve and Hugs..Mel
Have a had a pretty good week and weekend. Went to my brother and sister n laws house Saturday night for a wild pig pickin!!! Yes a wild pig pickin. The pig was a wild pig shot and killed in Montgomery county. Allen smoked it on Saturday and we ate it. You know when you think of a wild hog being cooked whole on the big old cooker you get this image...you know.a big fat pig, with tusks, and an apple stuck neatly in it's mouth..right? That is what I expected to see when the lid was rolled back but instead there was this headless, footless lean body of a pig cooked and looking good. I believe this was first experience with wild pig. It tasted mostly like regular BBQ. Good job boys!!!
Katie and Lula went to Cullowhee to spend the weekend with Derek. They arrived safely back home yesterday. I was worried the whole time. You know how us mothers are. We never stop worrying about our children, no matter how old they are. I am really beginning to understand how my parents feel :worrying about us just like that.
For the most part I am feeling pretty good. I can tell this new patch of treatment is different from the first. I am beginning to feel my hands and arms loose energy. They feel very heavy and sometimes tingly and just a little numb. This is after only 4 treatments. I dread to see how I will be after 8 more. I just pray God will continue to be merciful and it wont get real bad.
I still am so thankful so far. I was talking with lady I know that is going thru treatments. I saw she was in a wheelchair and a cast on her lower leg. She was on the same treatments as me and her legs and feet got so numb she could not even tell which way she was standing and she tripped and broke her leg in three places! I have nothing to complain about...so far. I am sure I will be whining some if and when things should start getting worse. I will be grateful for some things but ticked off about things too. I think I am allowed.
I ordered me some new hats last week. I am beginning to think that the most aggravating part about this is having no hair. It is just a pain knowing you need to cover your head with something most of the time. Then you have to worry about it flying off your head running after it like a Little furry puppy running away! I keep thinking it is almost over but then I think no it's not I got at least five more months with no hair!! So I will continue to buy stuff I need spring and summer fashions now!!
Better get back to my laundry. Today is laundry day. Every time Glenn looks in my closet he laughs. I hang all my clothes according to color. does anyone else do that? It just makes it easy so if I want to wear a black shirt I just go to the black section and pick out the one I want. It is very simple. Maybe its OCD! It makes me happy!!!!
Have a marvelous Monday dear friends.
LOve and Hugs..Mel
Monday, April 16, 2012
chugging along
Good Monday morning. I am sorta sad. Spring break for Glenn and Katie is over. I kinda got used to Glenn being at home with me. I think I have gotten more attached to him. He is like my security blanket. WE all did have a good week together. We were at the beach last weekend with KT and Thomas. I love being with my kids. Now I know what my parents feel too...they like being with all us as well.
So lots of things going on now!!! My room is coming along. They worked all day Saturday. All the outside is finished....roof, siding... just got to finish out inside. Hopefully that will be done this week. I am so excited. My house inside is a mess. I had to move everything in my dining room and I got stuff scattered in the extra rooms...all just waiting to be put back in place and in a new home.
I am going to start me a little chicken farm. Glenn and Derek moved an old well house cover to the back yard and made it a chicken house. We will be adding a run onit for my chickens!! I only want 3-4 just enough to have some fresh eggs and to enjoy having them around, I am so glad I live in the country and have a semi farm in my back yard. There is a cow pasture in the very back. It is so nice going back there watching them graze, seeing the new calves. It reminds me of growing up on the Gaddy farm. THe best thing is I don't have to be responsible for the cows..Just enjoy them. I am a country girl. Don't worry neighbors....they won't be in your yard scratching up your garden.
I beleive I am starting to feel some of the side effects from this new chemo or either I am so paranoid I think that I am. ONe thing I am noticing is "chemo brain" it is real. I can see myself not being able to concentrate, I have a short attention span, it takes me longer to make a decision and I am having trouble finding words. I know this sounds like just age..hahaha!! But it is a little different. I can tell my arms and legs are a little weaker. I run out of steam very quickly. Good greif...I have 9 of these treatments left to go!!! What will it be like by the end!!!
OK..I am going to whine a little.... I am getting impatient with this all. It has been almost 4 months since all this started and my life and my families life changed. I am getting tired of puttin on hats, putting on a wig. Looking in the mirror and being bald, filling in my eyebrows, trying to find some lashes to dab some mascara on. Doubling on the eyeliner. lots of lipstick ( I love my lipstick anyway). I know I should not whine. So many other people have a much harder time than I am. I am thankful.
I've been out of work so long I am used to being at home...I know I have to go back... it will be good for me to get back to a normal life. I forgot what I am supposed to be doing . I don't know what normal is. It's hard to make others understand what it's like. I'm not totally debilitated, but I can't do what I normally do. So this is hard. I have to remind myself " I have a sickness, I am not well, I will get thru it, it is only temporary".
My blood counts...the main one they check is my white cell count. This one is our infection and immune cells. Mine has gotten extremly low. So I have to be extremly careful about germs. If I were to get sick with a cold or other kind of sickness, my body would have a hard time fighting it. I am getting a little anemic. My iron/hemoglobin level is dropping some each time.
So..all this temporary!!!!!!!! I can get thru this phase. THese are only detours on my track. I am still so very fortunate to only have these problems going on. I am so blessed by so many others things. I know God is watching over me and my family. I know it is hard on my family too. I try to keep up beat most of the time, and most of the time I do feel good. It is just those moments I get sad and have to find my big ole rock Glenn, and cry on his shoulder and he reminds me he is there pulling me up the track together.
I will try to get some pics of the room and my chicken coop soon. It is one of those chemo brain things I mentioned...I just have to really concentrate on how to do that.
Have a great week friends. Thank you all for your love and prayers. Melanie
So lots of things going on now!!! My room is coming along. They worked all day Saturday. All the outside is finished....roof, siding... just got to finish out inside. Hopefully that will be done this week. I am so excited. My house inside is a mess. I had to move everything in my dining room and I got stuff scattered in the extra rooms...all just waiting to be put back in place and in a new home.
I am going to start me a little chicken farm. Glenn and Derek moved an old well house cover to the back yard and made it a chicken house. We will be adding a run onit for my chickens!! I only want 3-4 just enough to have some fresh eggs and to enjoy having them around, I am so glad I live in the country and have a semi farm in my back yard. There is a cow pasture in the very back. It is so nice going back there watching them graze, seeing the new calves. It reminds me of growing up on the Gaddy farm. THe best thing is I don't have to be responsible for the cows..Just enjoy them. I am a country girl. Don't worry neighbors....they won't be in your yard scratching up your garden.
I beleive I am starting to feel some of the side effects from this new chemo or either I am so paranoid I think that I am. ONe thing I am noticing is "chemo brain" it is real. I can see myself not being able to concentrate, I have a short attention span, it takes me longer to make a decision and I am having trouble finding words. I know this sounds like just age..hahaha!! But it is a little different. I can tell my arms and legs are a little weaker. I run out of steam very quickly. Good greif...I have 9 of these treatments left to go!!! What will it be like by the end!!!
OK..I am going to whine a little.... I am getting impatient with this all. It has been almost 4 months since all this started and my life and my families life changed. I am getting tired of puttin on hats, putting on a wig. Looking in the mirror and being bald, filling in my eyebrows, trying to find some lashes to dab some mascara on. Doubling on the eyeliner. lots of lipstick ( I love my lipstick anyway). I know I should not whine. So many other people have a much harder time than I am. I am thankful.
I've been out of work so long I am used to being at home...I know I have to go back... it will be good for me to get back to a normal life. I forgot what I am supposed to be doing . I don't know what normal is. It's hard to make others understand what it's like. I'm not totally debilitated, but I can't do what I normally do. So this is hard. I have to remind myself " I have a sickness, I am not well, I will get thru it, it is only temporary".
My blood counts...the main one they check is my white cell count. This one is our infection and immune cells. Mine has gotten extremly low. So I have to be extremly careful about germs. If I were to get sick with a cold or other kind of sickness, my body would have a hard time fighting it. I am getting a little anemic. My iron/hemoglobin level is dropping some each time.
So..all this temporary!!!!!!!! I can get thru this phase. THese are only detours on my track. I am still so very fortunate to only have these problems going on. I am so blessed by so many others things. I know God is watching over me and my family. I know it is hard on my family too. I try to keep up beat most of the time, and most of the time I do feel good. It is just those moments I get sad and have to find my big ole rock Glenn, and cry on his shoulder and he reminds me he is there pulling me up the track together.
I will try to get some pics of the room and my chicken coop soon. It is one of those chemo brain things I mentioned...I just have to really concentrate on how to do that.
Have a great week friends. Thank you all for your love and prayers. Melanie
Monday, April 9, 2012
Time for a break!!!
Hello friends. I have gotten a little lazy and have not blogged like I should of. I had the awesome pleasure of seeing some of my followers yesterday at church and I didn't realize how much you look forward to reading this? I really appreciate it. I will try to do better. I got a little lazy and a little boring!!!
So today I promised I would get back to business. I just happen to be sitting in beautiful hotel room, looking out over the ocean watching the sunrise. There is nothing more beautiful. God is so good. We came to the beach for a few days. The main reason is Katie just happened to of found her wedding dress at Myrtle Beach for now we have to make a couple of trips down for her to have her fittings. Darn.
Today is one of the fitting days. We all decided to stay a few extra days just to get a way and relax. It is going to be a great few days. The only thing missing is Derek. He had Spring break last week. We miss him. But like I told Glenn....we all had to pay our dues growing up and missing out. One day he will be finished and grown and can do things on his time too. I highly suggest it.
I have been doing really good. I had two treatments on the new meds. I have 10 more. So far I have not had any problems. They tell me the side effects from this is mainly bone and joint pain, numbness in hands and feet. So far I have none. Thanks be to God!
The new room is coming a long slowly. It is a full room roof and sheet rock...they just need to come finish it!! I am getting impatient. I Have so much to do when it is finished!!!
Well...I am finding that chemo brain is a real thing. I have always been a little ditsy (like Lucy) but it is beginning to get a little more noticeable. I booked our room for this weekend. I thought I was being very careful. You see Glenn usually handles everything like this but I thought I can handle it. We get to our hotel and Glenn goes to check in., He is gone a long time.. he comes back to the car and says.."well we are staying in this section tonight and then across the road the other two nights, What???? we are supposed to be across the road all nights!! Poor Glenn...he just said the reservations were made for Monday thru Thursday instead of Sunday thru Wed. They happened to have one cancellation for Sunday night otherwise they were totally booked. Oh my goodness!! I messed up!!!!
Glenn told me later that he felt so bad to have to tell. me. He has been noticing some things that I do or say that is not me and knows that it is the chemo. This makes him sad. Sometimes we forget about this sickness. I feel so good most of the time and the only obvious sign that I am sick is that my hair is gone. We forget I have a real disease I am fighting. Fighting everyday to try to be as normal as possible. Even here at the beach I fightng with what to wear on my head.. my hat my wig..what will not go flying off in all this wind? Just hold on to whichever it is. I need a new hat so Katie and I saw a couple in the store last night. She said try it on..so I yanked off my my hat and put the other one on. She has never seen me bald. Oh no this was it. She was not prepared. I try to respect her or anyone else who just wants to remember me in a somewhat normal way. Think we will go hat shopping today.
We had a great Easter with all the fam at Sharon's house yesterday. Lots of good food. Lots of animals on the farm. It was a wonderful day...but we had to eat and run to begin our Spring break. Sometimes you just gotta be a selfish do what you want to do!!!
Have a great week everyone. I will promise to post more. I guess since I don;t have a lot going on I had little to blog about. I will do better. Thank you all for caring and letting me share this part of my life.
LOve to all!! Mel
So today I promised I would get back to business. I just happen to be sitting in beautiful hotel room, looking out over the ocean watching the sunrise. There is nothing more beautiful. God is so good. We came to the beach for a few days. The main reason is Katie just happened to of found her wedding dress at Myrtle Beach for now we have to make a couple of trips down for her to have her fittings. Darn.
Today is one of the fitting days. We all decided to stay a few extra days just to get a way and relax. It is going to be a great few days. The only thing missing is Derek. He had Spring break last week. We miss him. But like I told Glenn....we all had to pay our dues growing up and missing out. One day he will be finished and grown and can do things on his time too. I highly suggest it.
I have been doing really good. I had two treatments on the new meds. I have 10 more. So far I have not had any problems. They tell me the side effects from this is mainly bone and joint pain, numbness in hands and feet. So far I have none. Thanks be to God!
The new room is coming a long slowly. It is a full room roof and sheet rock...they just need to come finish it!! I am getting impatient. I Have so much to do when it is finished!!!
Well...I am finding that chemo brain is a real thing. I have always been a little ditsy (like Lucy) but it is beginning to get a little more noticeable. I booked our room for this weekend. I thought I was being very careful. You see Glenn usually handles everything like this but I thought I can handle it. We get to our hotel and Glenn goes to check in., He is gone a long time.. he comes back to the car and says.."well we are staying in this section tonight and then across the road the other two nights, What???? we are supposed to be across the road all nights!! Poor Glenn...he just said the reservations were made for Monday thru Thursday instead of Sunday thru Wed. They happened to have one cancellation for Sunday night otherwise they were totally booked. Oh my goodness!! I messed up!!!!
Glenn told me later that he felt so bad to have to tell. me. He has been noticing some things that I do or say that is not me and knows that it is the chemo. This makes him sad. Sometimes we forget about this sickness. I feel so good most of the time and the only obvious sign that I am sick is that my hair is gone. We forget I have a real disease I am fighting. Fighting everyday to try to be as normal as possible. Even here at the beach I fightng with what to wear on my head.. my hat my wig..what will not go flying off in all this wind? Just hold on to whichever it is. I need a new hat so Katie and I saw a couple in the store last night. She said try it on..so I yanked off my my hat and put the other one on. She has never seen me bald. Oh no this was it. She was not prepared. I try to respect her or anyone else who just wants to remember me in a somewhat normal way. Think we will go hat shopping today.
We had a great Easter with all the fam at Sharon's house yesterday. Lots of good food. Lots of animals on the farm. It was a wonderful day...but we had to eat and run to begin our Spring break. Sometimes you just gotta be a selfish do what you want to do!!!
Have a great week everyone. I will promise to post more. I guess since I don;t have a lot going on I had little to blog about. I will do better. Thank you all for caring and letting me share this part of my life.
LOve to all!! Mel
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