wobbling

I know I know.  I am getting slack on keeping up with my blog.  I'm sorry if you look and are disappointed when you don't see any new and exciting things to read about my exciting life!! I feel like everything is just on hold.  I know it is not.

Ok a little funny I will share with you all.  You know the chemo caused ALL my hair to come out.  Since I have started on the new chemo, five weeks ago, I have noticed that the hair on my head has stated to grow some.  It is a  little thicker and a little longer.  My doctor said it may start coming back and staying!!!!!  Well when I went to take my shower the other night...guess what?   I noticed I have underarm hair again!!!!!!!!  I was so excited I ran to Glenn and showed him..he just laughed. 

This is serious.  This means that my hair is coming back and I probably will not have to be wearing a wig to Katie's wedding in October.  I know  you can't understand how BIG this is but believe me...from my standpoint having  a cabinet full of scarves, hats, wigs...it is HUGE!!!  I'll have to go buy some new razors!!!!!

I have been feeling a little down this week. I went to work for just a couple hours Wed.  I walked in and I felt like I didn't belong anymore.  I felt out of place.  Even though I have been there for 23 years, it just felt different now that I have been out several months.  I know that once I get back more regular or fulltime, things will just fall back into place.  I am really looking forward to getting back to a normal life.

I am exactly half way thru chemo.  I have 8 treatments left.  Yes I am happy about this.  I can't beleive how the first half has just flown by.   I am so thankful for my family and friends helping get me thru.  Without you all it would be so much harder.  I love you all for this.

Everyone said that women on chemo tend to gain some weight.  Well I was hoping I would lose just a few pounds, but no...... I  have gained just a few.  I look in the mirror and I see puffy!!!  I don't want to be puffy!!!! So now with the new chemo Taxol...it makes you have some peripheral neuropathy.  Your hand fell numb and tired.   My legs feel like I have run a marathon and are like jello.  All this is not bad. It is not hindering anything, but I can tell it is there.  Some days are a little worse than others.  So I am puffy and jello.   Great.

Last night Katie had a little get together at her house. She and T have done alot of hard work on it and wanted some friends and family to share it.   I had a pretty good day yesterday.  They turned on some music we all tried to learn a couple of new dances.  One was the wobble.  Well..I can't wobble.  I got no moves.  Katie tried to teach me and I did something... I kept thinking ...I am puffy, my legs are like jello....I feel like a weeble...you know it...weebles wobble but they don't fall down!!!

Anyway  we had fun and I had to get home by 9 to go to bed.  This morning I feel like a weeble.  I am whiny, I cried on Glenn before he left for church,   I was going to try to go but then a little wave of nausea hit...my legs feel wobbly.   There is no sun, there is no warmth, I have no nice new room to go too.  I am having a pity party.

I'm going to get over it.  I have so much to be thankful for and I never forget that.   I just have to have moment sometimes.  I am thankful for you all that keep up with this.  It is so encouraging to hear you tell me how much you enjoy reading.  I never feel alone.  Thank you all so much.   I love you all and am so glad to have you in my life.

I will have a better day....I will stop whining and rejoice in the day the Lord has made.

Loves and hugs...Mel