Good Monday morning. I am sorta sad. Spring break for Glenn and Katie is over. I kinda got used to Glenn being at home with me. I think I have gotten more attached to him. He is like my security blanket. WE all did have a good week together. We were at the beach last weekend with KT and Thomas. I love being with my kids. Now I know what my parents feel too...they like being with all us as well.
So lots of things going on now!!! My room is coming along. They worked all day Saturday. All the outside is finished....roof, siding... just got to finish out inside. Hopefully that will be done this week. I am so excited. My house inside is a mess. I had to move everything in my dining room and I got stuff scattered in the extra rooms...all just waiting to be put back in place and in a new home.
I am going to start me a little chicken farm. Glenn and Derek moved an old well house cover to the back yard and made it a chicken house. We will be adding a run onit for my chickens!! I only want 3-4 just enough to have some fresh eggs and to enjoy having them around, I am so glad I live in the country and have a semi farm in my back yard. There is a cow pasture in the very back. It is so nice going back there watching them graze, seeing the new calves. It reminds me of growing up on the Gaddy farm. THe best thing is I don't have to be responsible for the cows..Just enjoy them. I am a country girl. Don't worry neighbors....they won't be in your yard scratching up your garden.
I beleive I am starting to feel some of the side effects from this new chemo or either I am so paranoid I think that I am. ONe thing I am noticing is "chemo brain" it is real. I can see myself not being able to concentrate, I have a short attention span, it takes me longer to make a decision and I am having trouble finding words. I know this sounds like just age..hahaha!! But it is a little different. I can tell my arms and legs are a little weaker. I run out of steam very quickly. Good greif...I have 9 of these treatments left to go!!! What will it be like by the end!!!
OK..I am going to whine a little.... I am getting impatient with this all. It has been almost 4 months since all this started and my life and my families life changed. I am getting tired of puttin on hats, putting on a wig. Looking in the mirror and being bald, filling in my eyebrows, trying to find some lashes to dab some mascara on. Doubling on the eyeliner. lots of lipstick ( I love my lipstick anyway). I know I should not whine. So many other people have a much harder time than I am. I am thankful.
I've been out of work so long I am used to being at home...I know I have to go back... it will be good for me to get back to a normal life. I forgot what I am supposed to be doing . I don't know what normal is. It's hard to make others understand what it's like. I'm not totally debilitated, but I can't do what I normally do. So this is hard. I have to remind myself " I have a sickness, I am not well, I will get thru it, it is only temporary".
My blood counts...the main one they check is my white cell count. This one is our infection and immune cells. Mine has gotten extremly low. So I have to be extremly careful about germs. If I were to get sick with a cold or other kind of sickness, my body would have a hard time fighting it. I am getting a little anemic. My iron/hemoglobin level is dropping some each time.
So..all this temporary!!!!!!!! I can get thru this phase. THese are only detours on my track. I am still so very fortunate to only have these problems going on. I am so blessed by so many others things. I know God is watching over me and my family. I know it is hard on my family too. I try to keep up beat most of the time, and most of the time I do feel good. It is just those moments I get sad and have to find my big ole rock Glenn, and cry on his shoulder and he reminds me he is there pulling me up the track together.
I will try to get some pics of the room and my chicken coop soon. It is one of those chemo brain things I mentioned...I just have to really concentrate on how to do that.
Have a great week friends. Thank you all for your love and prayers. Melanie
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