Well I can't decide if I feel bad enough to wallow around in self pity or suck it up and get up and do something. This post-treatment has made me feel a little ....strange. It's hard to describe...I feel nauseated but really not bad enough to take strong medicine. I feel very weepy...I cry at everything. I mean yesterday was such a pretty day... I finally got up off the couch. showered, dressed in something besides sweats...thought I would feel better....but no...I still felt crappy. I guess this is what to expect .. each treatment gets a little worse. It make you feel just crazy.
I don't want to do anything..I have all these little projects I have to work on..not big things..just small simple finish in an hour crafty things. What happened to me cooking? That doesn't take a lot of creativity. Is this all normal? To lose interest in things I used to like?
This whole chuck thing is so interrupting my life. You know how things are going along just great...your cars just got paid off, kids are doing great with their lives...everyone is healthy...things are really looking up....then BAM!!!! you get popped! A set back. A life changer. We as humans have to wonder why. I don't question what the Lord does..I know this is all part of His plan for me. I just go with it and pray.
This whole being sick thing is getting old. Don't get me wrong..I really appreciate all the concerns, prayers, cards, food, calls and everything all you wonderful people do for me. It's just that I don't want to be the recipient of all this. It makes me sad. It makes me feel like I am sick...and I am. I don't want to be. I know I have along way to go before its over...what 13 more treatments...yippy!!!
I am not a very patient person. One thing I am so thankful about is this happened to me...I could not bear it if this were happening to one of my children or another family member. I know I can get thru this.
So this week I am going to try to get off my behind and plan my garden. Usually by now I would have my little green house going with some herbs and plants I would start from seeds. No not now..I am sick. I think I really need to focus on how sick I really am. I may be fooling myself. We shall see.
LOves and hugs...Have a great Sunday. Mel
Joshua 1:9- I command you -be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with your wherever you go.
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